Tears, Blood and Fluff Bunnies
by MeeLee
Summary: [COMPLETE] My KakaIru entries for the 55Themes LJ community. Some side pairings. ['Where the Heart Is' – Kakashi, Iruka, and the ties that bind them to their village and to each other.]
1. The Bet

**A/N: **There's not much to say about this, other than this is simply a collection of my entries for the 55Themes challenge community on LJ. I selected KakaIru/IruKaka as my pairing, though some entries could contain other side couples. Nothing should be rated above PG-13; anything that breaks that barrier will probably just be edited with the real version posted on LJ, because I don't want to change the rating of this entire fic just for one entry.

The 55Themes community is located here: http / www . livejournal . com / community / 55themes.

Specific notes about this one-shot: fans of KakaNaru probably shouldn't read. A lame attempt at a humorous debut. And all that jazz.

(_Edit 6/29/06)_ Oops, forgot a disclaimer. I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

* * *

**Title: **The Bet

**Themes: **#25 – Rejection; #47 – Comedy; #53 - Mischief

* * *

Umino Iruka awoke with the distinct feeling that things just weren't quite right.

His pillow wasn't supposed to be this hard, and the blanket wasn't supposed to be so heavy. And the sunlight now streaming over his closed eyelids was supposed to be shining through a window on the other side of the room, not through the wall he was supposed to be facing.

Bottom line: this wasn't his apartment. Or at least, this wasn't his bedroom.

Very slowly, the chuunin opened his eyes, and immediately became aware of three facts.

One, it really wasn't his bedroom. It looked vaguely familiar because it was one of those standard-issue shinobi bachelor apartments, the same as Iruka's own, but the decorations were different and the furniture was out of place.

Second, he had a _very_ bad headache. In fact, it felt like his skull was splitting open, or at least was receiving repeated blows from some sort of mallet. And his stomach was churning in that way they only did when they were about to spill out their contents through the wrong end of the body.

But before he really registered that he was, indeed, hungover like a drunken skunk, he realized Fact Number Three.

Namely, that he was naked under the covers. And it was very warm for some reason.

Iruka froze when something shifted next to him. Something heavy. Something warm. Something that gave a slight, sleepy groan as it moved.

Oh?

And then it clicked in Iruka's mind.

_Ohhh. _

Suddenly the Evil Migraine From Hell and the Nausea of Doom seemed very, very trivial. In fact, death by bile began to look very appealing. As did leaping off of a cliff, or maybe slitting his throat with a kunai, or maybe—

_He had just had sex with someone while he was drunk. _

Iruka whimpered, bringing his hands up to cover his face. This couldn't be happening—he was a respectable Academy teacher, after all! He wasn't supposed to get drunk at parties—because now he remembered that the previous night he had come to the annual jounin and chuunin drinking party, and had perhaps had a few too many drinks—and then go home with someone he had probably never met before and screw the living daylights out of her.

Or him. Because that groan had sounded suspiciously masculine.

Oh, Iruka was _so_ going to hang himself.

Lowering his hands, he shut his eyes tight and slowly turned his head toward his companion, praying silently in his mind that the person next to him would be some sort of kind-hearted female who would perhaps forgive him after he had showered her with apologies and watched her kids for her and let her children pass his class with flying colors even though they had misbehaved all year and—

Very slowly, he opened his eyes. And promptly decided that, by this time tomorrow, he would most definitely be dead.

Lying next to him in the bed, more or less still asleep and naked as the day he was born except for a thin cloth mask covering the bottom portion of his face, was Hatake Kakashi, the great Copy-Nin of Konoha.

Now, a logical man would have 1) steeled himself for the worst, 2) woken Kakashi up (without being killed by the jounin's scary reflexes), and 3) asked him what the hell happened the previous night.

A slightly less logical man would not have survived Step 2.

A completely illogical, certifiably insane man would have merrily woken Kakashi up in a rather unorthodox way, therefore bypassing Steps 1 and 3, and shirking his way around the conditional of Step 2.

But Iruka was neither Logical Man, nor Slightly Less Logical Man, nor even, unfortunately for the fangirls, Completely Illogical Certifiably Insane Man.

He was, quite simply, Iruka.

Which meant he did what any Iruka would do.

A piercing yell rang out through Konoha, upsetting the birds from their morning roosts and causing not a few ninja to draw their kunai, and scaring small children as far as Sunagakure.

Well, Hatake Kakashi definitely couldn't pretend to sleep through _that._ Sighing quietly, he opened his eyes and turned slowly toward Iruka. The chuunin, to his amusement, seemed to be having a first-rate panic attack.

The jounin blinked, rubbing at one eye sleepily. "Morning," he mumbled.

"You—wha—" Iruka was spluttering, which Kakashi found infinitely cute. "Wh—What are you doing here?"

"Mm?" Kakashi shifted, propping himself up on one elbow and regarding Iruka calmly. "This is my apartment, Iruka. Why shouldn't I be here?"

"_Your_ apart—then what am _I_ doing here?" Iruka demanded.

Kakashi shrugged. "You got drunk at the party last night," he said, "So I took you home. Then you got horny, so we had sex."

Iruka's face turned a most interesting shade of red that Kakashi didn't think he had ever seen on anyone's face before. "We had sex," the chuunin repeated in a small, almost squeaky voice.

The jounin nodded cheerfully. "Yes, Iruka, we had sex," he said. "Hot, passionate, mind-blowing sex, by the way. Didn't know you could be so kinky. I never expected you to be so good at giving hea—"

_Pop!_ Iruka disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving his clothes, his sandals, and his hitai-ate lying in the various places where they had been scattered the previous night.

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow at the academy teacher's reaction, blinking for a few moments in the calmness of his bedroom before finally allowing a broad smile to break out onto his face.

* * *

Umino Iruka hurried down the street, muttering curse after sizzling curse to himself. When Kakashi had told him the disturbing news, he had instinctively bamphed home—only to discover that he had left everything, including his hitai-ate, at the jounin's apartment. And there was no way in _hell_ he was going to go back _there._ Not after what had happened.

Shaking his head and covering his ears, Iruka tried very hard not to whimper. Of all the people in the village, why did this have to happen to _him?_ Had he angered some vengeful god somehow? Was it karma? Oh, he was going to have to _explain_ it to people soon, because no doubt Kakashi wouldn't be able to keep something like this to himself. Oh no, being the porn-reading pervert that he was, Kakashi was sure to tell everyone he came across about just how _good_ Iruka was in bed—

_Hm. Just how good _was_ I in bed? _

"Argh!" Giving his inner voice a very sound kick, Iruka turned toward the nearest café—yes, some caffeine sounded very good right about now—and was just about to step inside when he spotted Izumo, Kotetsu, Anko, Asuma and Kurenai sitting at a table.

Instantly he leaped back, feeling a rush of panic beginning to rise. Kakashi was sure to have told at least one of them already—oh, he was never going to hear the end of it! _So, Iruka-kun, I heard you and Kakashi were playing the teacher-student thing last night? _

He was so going to kill himself. Quickly Iruka turned, intent on escaping before any of the other ninja noticed him, when all of a sudden—

"So Iruka believed him?" Izumo asked.

The chuunin stopped mid-step. Believed what? Turning and bending just a little closer, he was able to catch Anko's reply. "Yep," the purple-haired jounin said. "Teleported himself naked out of the room, from what Kakashi told me."

"Wait a minute, let me get this straight," Kurenai said. "It was all a bet?"

"Yeah," Anko said. "After Iruka got drunk last night, Kakashi made a bet with us that he could make Iruka think that they had had sex. We didn't believe him, of course, because Iruka's supposed to be sensible, so we all bet against him. So he took Iruka home, scattered their clothes, put him to bed, and went to sleep beside him. And according to what he said, Iruka woke up and had a panic attack to end all panic attacks." She paused, and Iruka could almost see her frowning. "I lost the entire payment from my last mission too, because of that bet."

Iruka didn't hear the rest, too busy storming down the street and being utterly, unmistakably _pissed off._

Kakashi was going to _hang_ for this.

Fifteen minutes later, Iruka had finally located Naruto and pulled him aside for a private talk. The blond boy looked up at him, blinking in confusion. "What's this about, Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

"Listen, Naruto," Iruka said, "How would you feel about a night of all-you-can-eat ramen, all on me?"

"_Really?_" Naruto's face lit up. "Are you serious, Iruka-sensei? I'd love it! All-you-can-eat ramen! Yeah! Is it tonight? Or tomorrow night? Or right now? I'm gonna order pork ramen, and beef, and that special spicy kind that's really really good, and—"

"Hold on a second, Naruto," Iruka said, gripping the boy's shoulder to stop his tirade. "I need you to do something for me first."

"Sure, sure, anything you want, Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka smiled. "Okay, it's like this…"

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was, all in all, very pleased with himself. Not only had he succeeded in proving that the village's supposedly most levelheaded shinobi was, in fact, highly susceptible to hyperventilation, but he was also several thousand gold richer. Even better, he and Iruka were now "lovers," which meant he no longer had to worry about confessions and courtship and could get right down to the good stuff. Because Kakashi had, in fact, been interested in Iruka for several months now, and now the adorable little chuunin was as good as his, with Kakashi hardly having to raise a finger.

Yes, he loved being a genius.

Turning to glance into a nearby café, Kakashi grinned under his mask. Speak of the devil…

Umino Iruka was sitting quietly at one of the inner tables, stacks of papers piled neatly before him as he carefully went over his students' assignments. The young teacher was the absolute picture of calm and collection, seated at the table, focused on his work, pausing only to take an occasional sip from the cup of decaf beside him.

He didn't look up when Kakashi entered the café, or when the jounin approached the table. Rolling his eyes at the obvious cold shoulder he was being given, Kakashi seated himself comfortably on the edge of Iruka's chair and wrapped his arms around the chuunin's waist. "Surprise!"

"_Gyah—_what the hell!"

In the next instant Kakashi was sprawled on the floor, trying to remember why his head was throbbing like that, and wondering why the entire front of his vest was soaked with decaf coffee.

Iruka, meanwhile, was on the other side of the table, not seeming to notice the other guests in the café staring at them as he screamed at the top of his lungs, "What the hell was that for!"

Kakashi managed to get back to his feet, rubbing the side of his head. "You didn't have to hit me so hard…"

"I had every right to, you pervert!" Iruka screamed. "You were molesting me!"

"I have a right to molest you," Kakashi said calmly. "We're lovers now, after all."

"Lov—_what?_" Iruka glared. "You know, Kakashi-san, whatever this is about, it isn't funny. I don't appreciate you coming up and playing jokes on me like this."

Kakashi rolled his eyes; he was starting to get tired of this. "Now, now, Iruka, that's enough," he said. "Don't tell me you've already forgotten about what happened last night, after the party—"

"If you're talking about the chuunin and jounin party, I wasn't there," Iruka said, walking carefully around the table and collecting his papers. "I don't know what you were told, but I had to grade papers last night so I was at home all evening finishing them up."

Kakashi's single blue eye narrowed dangerously. "It's not going to work, Iruka," he said.

The chuunin glared right back. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Kakashi-san," he said, gathering his papers and putting them back into his bag. "Now, you'll excuse me before I decide to report you for your inappropriate behavior." And he walked out of the café.

Kakashi was left standing there for a moment, utterly speechless. Really, who the hell did Iruka think he was, just blowing him off like that? Especially under the circumstances? Was the chuunin really in that much denial, or was he just pissed off?

Either way, Kakashi was going to find him and straighten this out, because even his patience had a limit. Stepping out of the café, he glanced up and down the street just in time to spot Iruka disappearing around a nearby corner. Quickly Kakashi took a step in that direction, but then a slight but familiar chakra disturbance registered on the edge of his chakra field—looking up, he cursed quietly when he saw the white messenger bird circling lazily above his head, giving its distinctive 'the Hokage's summoning you, you poor bastard' call. Okay, so not quite that specific, but you get the point.

Grumbling about certain blond kunoichi and their bad timing, Kakashi decided that he would deal with Iruka later and headed off in the direction of Tsunade's office.

* * *

Kakashi didn't think anything was out of the ordinary when he opened the door to Tsunade's office and stepped inside, but he did notice Naruto standing in the corner with a rather guilty look on his face. Instantly Kakashi knew what had happened: Naruto had pulled some sort of prank, had been caught, and had blamed Kakashi for it.

Kakashi mentally shrugged. It wasn't the first time, he reminded himself as he stepped forward and bowed to the Hokage seated regally at her desk. "You summoned me, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade was silent for a moment; in fact, it was such a long moment that Kakashi eventually straightened, peering curiously at the busty blond. The Godaime Hokage was currently glaring at him, but he didn't find that unusual; she glared at him all the time. It was the silence that bothered him.

"Um…Hokage-sama, what do you need?" he asked.

At this, Tsunade shifted in her chair, lifting a hand and indicating Naruto with her thumb. "Explain," she said simply.

Kakashi blinked. "Explain what?"

Tsunade sighed, turning to Naruto. "Tell him what happened," she said.

"Eh." Naruto shifted uncomfortably, mumbling the words as he stared at the floor. "You see, um…you know that adult ninja party that they hold every year?"

_Oh, no,_ Kakashi thought.

"Well…" Naruto scratched his head, still refusing to look at either Tsunade or Kakashi. "See, we all wanna know what goes on in there, but no one lets us in 'cause we're not old enough. So yesterday, when I heard Iruka-sensei wasn't going, I was all like 'Yeah I'll henge into Iruka-sensei and go' so I did it and then I drank a lot of stuff and fell asleep and, uh, woke up with you, Kakashi-sensei." He seemed to be wanting to shrink right into the wall. "And, uh, yeah. That's it."

There was a moment of silence before Outer Kakashi managed a very calm (under the circumstances) "I see."

Inner Kakashi was busy building a huge bonfire in which he was going to burn himself to death, and was looking for oil to speed up the process.

_It was Naruto not Iruka oh holy shit I'm gonna die right here— _

"So." Tsunade's voice interrupted his thoughts and he looked up to see the Hokage sitting carefully back in her chair, smiling like a big hungry animal would smile right before it swallowed you whole. "Explain."

Kakashi was silent for a moment, and both Naruto and Tsunade saw the tiny expanse of skin around his right eye that wasn't covered by his mask beginning to visibly pale. "Um…"

Tsunade resisted the urge to grin; Naruto had, of course, told her the whole plan in order to make her go along with it, and she was really enjoying the Hatake brat's reaction to Naruto's story.

"You can't explain," she said when Kakashi failed to produce anything other than confused noises.

"Maa…" Whoa, the Hatake brat was actually beginning to _shake._ "Well, you see…"

When she heard the hitch in his voice, Tsunade took pity on him. "You're dismissed," she said, feeling like he had had enough torture for one day. In the next instant, Kakashi was gone.

As soon as the smoke had cleared, Tsunade turned to Naruto. "Tell Iruka he owes me a good bottle of sake for this," she said.

* * *

It wasn't until he had gotten home, taken a shower, banged his head against the wall several times, called himself an assortment of interesting names, crumpled up his title of 'genius' and flushed it down the toilet, made himself two cups of tea, and reread his latest volume of _Icha Icha_ twice that Kakashi finally felt himself settled enough to think about what had happened.

The first thought that came to his mind: _Something's wrong with this picture. _

No matter how effective a henge was, there was still a sufficient chakra anomaly to be sensed by any shinobi chuunin or above. And there was no way a henge could last through intoxication; one simply did not lack the mental capacities to keep up the illusion.

Which lead to Only One Thing.

Naruto had lied.

Kakashi frowned, setting the _Icha Icha_ volume onto the nightstand beside his bed. If Naruto had been lying, then it was possible that Tsunade had been playing along as well. Which meant that someone who had ready access to them both was the one responsible for this set-up.

And that person could be none other than…

Rising and snatching up his hitai-ate, Kakashi left his apartment.

A minute or so later found him standing just inside a small alleyway, barely illuminated by the setting sun, listening to Naruto babble about how Iruka-sensei had promised him all-you-can-eat ramen if he made up the story and got Tsunade to go along with it. When the boy was finished, Kakashi nodded. "Very good, Naruto," he said. "Looks like I won't be sending you back to the academy after all."

Naruto gave a sigh of relief before looking up. "Hey, y'know, since Iruka-sensei won't be treating me to that all-you-can-eat ramen anymore, you should do it 'cause I gave you all the information and—"

"Maybe another night," Kakashi said, and walked away.

It didn't take him very long to find Iruka's apartment, one of the many bachelor units in the chuunin housing complex. When the chuunin teacher answered the door, Kakashi might have been impressed by the fact that his hair was down and he looked downright sexy in that yukata, except Kakashi was too busy being royally pissed off to enjoy the view.

Iruka blinked a couple of times before speaking. "Good evening, Kakashi-san," he said. "What can I do for you?"

Kakashi's single blue eye was narrowed almost to a slit. "Gig's up, Iruka," he said. "I know what you did."

Iruka frowned. "I'm sorry, I have no idea—"

"Naruto told me about what you asked him and Hokage-sama to do," Kakashi said.

That effectively shut Iruka up, and they were silent for a few moments before the chuunin finally spoke. "Okay, so you know," he said, shrugging and moving to close the door. "Thanks for telling me. Good night."

Kakashi's hand suddenly shot forward, grabbing the edge of the door and preventing Iruka from closing it. "Listen to me, Iruka," he said.

Iruka glared. "Take it off or I'll break it off," he said. "I _mean_ it, Kakashi-san. I know since you're high and lofty and above us all that you think you can just play a joke like that and expect me to forgive you without a second thought. Well, that's not the way it works. You can't play with people's emotions like that."

He tried to close the door again but Kakashi held on, bracing himself against the doorframe. "Will you just hear me out?" he asked, and Iruka frowned. The jounin sounded tired.

At the silence that followed, Kakashi spoke. "Look," he said, "It was a bet; yes, I'll admit that. But that wasn't the whole of it."

Iruka raised one slim brown eyebrow, an indication for him to continue, and so Kakashi did. "I was going to do something about it sooner, I really was, but I was scared. So when you got drunk last night, I disguised the idea in the form of a bet so that I wouldn't be humiliated if you reacted…the way you did."

Iruka blinked. "I don't follow you."

Kakashi sighed. "Rejection," he said. "I was afraid you'd reject me if I confessed straight out, so I thought I'd skip those stages when you got drunk…but you rejected me anyway. So…So yeah, I guess that's it." He released his hold on the door and turned. "Sorry I bothered you. Good night."

He took about two steps before Iruka's voice stopped him. "Wait."

The jounin paused at the top of the stairs, wavering indecisively for a moment before finally turning, blinking at Iruka who was still standing in the doorway. The chuunin managed a small, shy smile. "I just finished making dinner," he said, "And…And I might've made a little too much, so you know, if you want to join me…?"

Kakashi blinked. "There's no need to feel guilty on my behalf," he said.

"It's not guilt," Iruka answered. "It's…the opposite of a rejection."

"Ah." And very slowly, Kakashi smiled. "Well then, Iruka-sensei, I would love to have dinner with you." And as he stepped into Iruka's warm apartment, he realized it was a start. A baby step, yes, but a start nevertheless.


	2. He Thought Right

**A/N: **I'm leaving for Taiwan tomorrow night, so think of this as a parting gift of sorts.

Kind of short. But I found it rather sweet.

* * *

**Title: **He Thought Right

**Themes: **#7 – Dance Club; #49 – Inner thoughts

* * *

Hatake Kakashi had thought he knew everything about Umino Iruka.

Kakashi had thought Iruka came from the perfect family: loving parents who always wanted the best for him.

He never expected Iruka's father to be so ruthless that the training sessions he had with his son were officially classified as child abuse.

Kakashi had thought that Iruka became the class clown because he wanted attention.

He never expected Iruka to do it because it was the one thing his parents couldn't stand, and they were no longer around to stop him.

Kakashi had thought that Iruka never did well in school, too busy playing pranks and getting in trouble to focus on his studies.

He never expected Iruka to pass at the top of his class, despite his teachers' most valiant attempts to flunk him.

Kakashi had expected Iruka to become ANBU and then jounin after he finally mastered his bloodline limit.

He never expected Iruka to self-seal the ability and then apply for a position as an academy teacher only a month afterward.

Kakashi had thought Iruka would hate Naruto like all the other villagers because the Kyuubi had wiped out his family.

He never expected Iruka to not only accept the boy, but to nearly die to save him.

Kakashi had thought Iruka wasn't much of a ninja when he let Mizuki beat him up so easily.

He never expected Mizuki to be found dead and mutilated beyond recognition in his prison cell the day after Iruka was released from the hospital. Sandaime wiped it off the official record, stating instead that Mizuki had died as the result of "a freak accident."

Kakashi had thought Iruka would be overjoyed when he nominated all of Team Seven for the Chuunin Exams.

He never expected Iruka to not only object, but to outright challenge his authority, and the next morning to slip some sort of chemical into Kakashi's shampoo that turned his hair pink for a week.

Kakashi had thought he was in good control of his emotions.

He never expected the prank to first of all royally piss him off, then amuse him, then intrigue him—all in less than a minute.

Kakashi had thought he would never be interested in other people.

He never expected to find himself stalking Iruka during his off-mission time—and enjoying it.

Kakashi had thought Iruka was the embodiment of the polite, prim schoolteacher.

He never expected to discover Iruka getting himself piss-drunk at the village's local dance club with the other rowdy shinobi.

Kakashi had thought Iruka wouldn't be able to hold his alcohol.

He never expected the chuunin to beat Ibiki in a drinking match.

Kakashi had thought that any confession of love would be filled with blushes and stuttering and shy embarrassment.

He never expected the "I can't believe I fell in love wi' you, y'lazy bastar'" that Iruka gave him right before he passed out.

Kakashi had thought Iruka would freak out when he woke up in Kakashi's bed the next morning.

He never expected Iruka to blink, realize the situation, shrug, and ask, "Was I any good?"

Kakashi had thought their first kiss would be gentle and slow, with Iruka pulling away embarrassed and flushed.

He never expected the kiss to be hot and passionate, with Iruka easily taking control of it and leaving Kakashi the one blushing and breathless.

Kakashi had thought that sex with Iruka would be gentle and sweet, listening to Iruka's breathy moans as he made love to the young chuunin.

He never expected it to be a wild, animalistic coupling done over the kitchen table. He certainly didn't expect Iruka to insist on being seme.

He didn't expect to enjoy being uke so much either.

Kakashi had thought that when he woke up the next morning, Iruka would be right there, snuggled up comfortably against him.

Kakashi had thought that Iruka would be awake before him, and would smile at him and would kiss him gently just above his left eye where his skin was most sensitive, and would whisper the words "I love you" in his ear.

Kakashi had thought that he would believe him.

He thought right.


	3. Rain

**A/N: **There isn't much to say about this entry. It's short. It's titled "Rain," and it's about rain. Yippee.

* * *

**Title: **Rain

**Themes: **#34 – Rituals; #52 – Rain.

* * *

It was a well-known fact throughout the village that Iruka loved the rain.

No one really knew why; no one bothered to ask. They all mostly just assumed that Iruka, being from a water-based clan, had a natural love for anything water-related. Iruka never said straight out that he loved the rain, but they all knew nevertheless, because every time the rain came along, he was a different person.

His students knew, because when the first drops hit the windowpanes, he would automatically pause in his lecture, no matter how fired up he was, and he would turn quietly to the window and watch for a good minute or so before seeming to rouse himself from a dream, apologizing to his class and continuing the lesson. The children looked forward to rainy days because he always dismissed them early, and even Konohamaru and his gang could escape detention when there were heavy clouds overhead.

His coworkers knew, because whenever it rained outside Iruka would always show up in the mission room soaked through from head to toe, his unruly hair spilling in wet brown locks down his shoulders, his hitai-ate in his hand. His face would be flushed and he would be smiling, and nobody would mention to him that he was half an hour late for the start of his shift because he rarely looked so happy.

His neighbors knew, because he would stand outside on his balcony for hours and hours, letting the rain pour down onto him as he looked up at the darkening sky, smiling like a little kid with a secret. And if it stormed into the night, his window would stay lit for hours and hours into the morning until the rain finally faded away, whereas all would go dark in his apartment once again.

Kakashi knew, because he had seen all of these things, and more. He saw how Iruka always insisted on walking home when it rained, rather than using a teleportation jutsu like any right-minded shinobi would have done. He saw how Iruka would grade papers with strange enthusiasm, how he'd have dinner prepared in half the time it usually took, how Kakashi's sexual advances would be welcomed rather than turned away as they usually were. His lover's libido seemed to spike with the rain; he became more playful, more seductive, more willing to experiment—and Kakashi certainly wasn't complaining.

And so here he was, sitting up in bed with the latest volume of _Icha Icha_ folded in his lap, quietly watching as Iruka stood just inside the large glass window that led into their bedroom. Outside the sky was dark, the air heavy, the rain pouring down in thick drops that sang as they hit the roof, the trees, the ground. And Iruka just stood there, quietly watching, a small smile evident in his faint reflection on the glass window.

Slowly setting his book aside on the nightstand, Kakashi threw his legs over the side of the bed and got up, making his way across the room to where his lover stood, gently wrapping his arms around Iruka's waist and nuzzling his neck affectionately.

Iruka hm-ed softly in response and turned to press a gentle kiss to Kakashi's temple. "You should be sleeping," the young teacher whispered.

"Not alone," the jounin answered. "Come to bed?"

Iruka turned from him to face the window again. "Yeah, not yet, okay?" he said. "When it's finished."

Kakashi said nothing, having expected as much. After a few moments of silence, though, he shifted just enough to rest his chin on Iruka's shoulder. "Ne, Iruka," he said. "Why do you love the rain so much?"

When the chuunin turned and blinked at him in confusion, Kakashi smiled. "Everyone knows you like rain," he said. "But no one knows why."

Iruka smiled softly. "Is that what everyone else thinks?" he asked. "That I like the rain?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Well, you get so happy whenever it rains, so people just assume," he said. "Though I can't seem to remember you ever saying so."

"Mm-hm." Iruka turned again toward the rain outside. A good few moments passed before he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't love the rain, Kakashi," he said. "Everyone I ever loved died or got hurt in it."

His lover's silence was an indication for him to continue, and so he did. "After the Kyuubi attack, there was a thunderstorm. I barely found my parents' bodies in the rain. My sensei and the rest of my team were slaughtered like animals in front of me in the rain. It rained during Sandaime-sama's funeral, and when Naruto and Sasuke nearly killed each other at the Valley of the End, it was raining then too." He paused to take a deep, shaky breath. "Every time it happens…it always rains."

He let his bodyweight fall back slightly, just enough so that he was leaning into Kakashi rather than standing straight. He felt his lover tighten his embrace instinctively as Kakashi whispered, "Then why are you always so cheerful when it rains?"

Iruka sighed, turning just enough to bury his face in Kakashi's bare neck. "S'not the rain's fault," he murmured. "It's not like the rain caused the deaths or the pain, so I don't blame it. It's like I don't blame Naruto for being the Kyuubi's vessel." He paused. "Besides," he said, "rain cleanses. It purifies; it washes away sin. And I think that's something people like us should definitely be grateful for, right?"

He felt rather than heard Kakashi's answering agreement before the jounin whispered, "Iruka."

"Hm?"

"Remember the night we confessed?" his lover asked. "It was raining then too."

Iruka smiled, reaching up to give Kakashi a proper kiss that left them both flushed and breathless. "Yes, I remember," he said. "Let's go to bed."

The rain continued to pour outside, but they didn't mind.


	4. They Understand

**A/N: **My cable is back! Thus, an update for all of you.

Just found out today that I am on the Favorites list of 100 authors. Like, _whoa._ I never thought I'd make it that far, but apparently it happened. So thanks from the bottom of my heart if you're one of those people.

There's not much to say about this particular entry, so I'll just let you get on to it without further adieu.

Playing Fate and Chuzzles is fun. Random comment.

**

* * *

**

**Title: **They Understand

**Themes: **#16 – Heartbreak; #22 – Death.

* * *

Iruka comes home late that evening. Kakashi is sitting on the couch reading _Icha Icha_, and looks up upon his lover's—soon-to-be husband's—entrance. "Welcome back," the jounin says. He doesn't mention Iruka's tardiness. He doesn't have to, because he is shinobi, and he understands. 

Iruka sighs, shedding his sandals, walking across the room and giving Kakashi a quick kiss. "I'm leaving on a mission tomorrow morning," he says.

Kakashi cocks one slim silver eyebrow. "That's rare for you," he says.

"I know," Iruka says.

Kakashi doesn't question it though. "Let's skip dinner," he says and, taking Iruka's hand, leads him into the bedroom. Iruka doesn't resist despite the fact that his stomach is growling, that he didn't have lunch. He knows he needs this—they need this, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

Iruka wakes up the next morning at three. He lies there for a moment, Kakashi's bare arm looped loosely around his waist, not wanting to get up just yet. Eventually, though, he disentangles himself from the warm nest that is the rumpled sheets and his lover's long limbs, and makes his way slowly to the bathroom to clean up. He isn't sore because Kakashi let him top last night; Kakashi knows Iruka doesn't need any extra pain to take with him on the mission, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

Inside the bathroom, Iruka takes a moment to pause and look down at his hand, where a simple gold band carved with a small dolphin gleams up at him from his ring finger. Kakashi gave it to him roughly a month ago, a sign of love, trust, a promise. He's never taken it off, even though he is afraid that, instead of a wedding, there might be a funeral. He's never thought about what he would do in that situation, though, since he's so used to death that he doesn't think about it anymore, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

When Iruka emerges from the bathroom dressed in his standard-issue ninja uniform, his hair up in its usual ponytail with his hitai-ate secured around his forehead, Kakashi is sitting up in bed waiting for him. Iruka smiles, crosses the room, and kisses his lover gently. "Don't wait up for me," he says.

Kakashi nods. "Come back safe."

Iruka smiles, secures his traveling pack on his shoulders, and leaves without a backward glance. He doesn't need to say anything else, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

For the next couple of weeks, Kakashi continues with his regular schedule. He stands at the memorial stone every day for hours on end so that he shows up ridiculously late to meet his team. He takes Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura on their D- and C-class missions. He tries his best to avoid Gai and his challenges. He goes out for poker night and drinking parties with the other ninja.

He doesn't think about Iruka, even though everything he sees reminds him of the chuunin's soft smile, his bell-like laughter, his gentle brown eyes. He chooses instead to lose himself in _Icha Icha Paradise_ once again, to not think about his lover who is off in some faroff country probably fighting for his life, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

When a month passes by with no news, _Icha Icha_ can no longer distract Kakashi. He begins to worry; he begins to fret. His trips to the mission room become more frequent, and even though he comes by only to pick up Team Seven's latest assignments, the other ninja know the real reason for his visits and so they drop him hints about Iruka's mission: B-rank, scroll delivery to Sand, duration of three weeks. Kakashi makes note of it and thanks them quietly, but asks no questions, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

Four weeks later, Genma shows up at Kakashi's doorstep. "Tsunade-sama's putting together a search-and-rescue team to retrieve Iruka," the tokubetsu jounin says. "I thought you might be interested."

Kakashi sets his book aside. "When do we set out?" he asks as he reaches for his hitai-ate.

The four-man team departs from Hidden Leaf three hours later with Kakashi in the lead, flanked by his dogs who are tracking Iruka's scent. Kakashi makes sure to set his pace so that the single chuunin on their team can keep up; he knows a few minutes gained or lost won't make much of a difference, because he doesn't expect to find Iruka alive. Ninja who have gone MIA are either found dead, dying, or not found at all. Kakashi knows this, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

They trace Iruka's scent to a concealed bunker just outside Konoha's borders. The interior is a mess; it is obvious that a battle took place here. The scents are mixed here and the dogs become confused, but they don't have to trace any further because Kakashi finds Iruka's bloody hitai-ate buried beneath rubble and splintered pieces of wood. He picks it up, holds it for a moment so tightly that the metal plate nearly cracks, before finally tucking it gingerly into a vest pocket. He turns to the rest of his team and says, "The mission failed."

They head home. No one speaks to Kakashi, and Kakashi says nothing to anyone else.

Later that night, when they have returned to Konoha, when the hitai-ate has indeed been identified as Iruka's, when Kakashi has debriefed over and over and been given consolation after consolation, the jounin finally returns home. He enters the small, dark apartment, closes the door firmly behind him, and punches a hole through the wall, screaming as he collapses to the floor, finally allowing the tears to flow. He knows he shouldn't be acting like this, Rule Number 25 and everything, but he is—was—in love with Iruka, and he should be allowed at least a little leeway here. So he hugs Iruka's hitai-ate to his chest, curls up against the wall and sobs like a broken child, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

He doesn't attend the funeral, even though everybody expects him to be there. He instead spends the time locked inside his apartment, sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring blankly at the opposite wall. He mourns for two weeks, inside his apartment, thinking about Iruka and nothing but Iruka.

When the two weeks are over, he emerges from his apartment, dressed in his dark uniform and vest, buries his nose in _Icha Icha_, and walks down the street to go buy groceries. It's hard to move on, but he does so anyway. Iruka would have wanted that and Kakashi knows it's the best thing to do, because he is shinobi, and he understands.

Five years later, when Kakashi is happily married and expecting his second child, a stranger shows up on his doorstep. He has short blond hair and sharp green eyes, and his chakra is frayed and irregular rather than fine-tuned like a properly-trained shinobi's; a civilian for sure. He is dressed in the neat uniform of a Rain official, and is holding a simple sealed yellow envelope.

When Kakashi answers the door, the stranger falters for a moment as if unsure of what to do. _It's been so long_, he wants to say. _So long, Kakashi. Don't you remember?_

But instead, he bows politely. "Hatake Kakashi-san?" he asks. His voice is slightly hoarse, and strangely familiar.

Kakashi nods. "Yes, that's me. How can I help you?"

The stranger hands him the yellow envelope. "Just some bills from your last mission to Rain," he says. "Mostly just food expenses. If you could kindly send the payments to the address indicated here, it would be much appreciated."

"Ah," Kakashi says, taking the envelope and flipping briefly through its contents. "Thank you." He pauses for a moment. "Would you like to come in?" Usually he wouldn't dream of doing this, but his wife has been teaching him better manners.

The stranger smiles and shakes his head. "Thank you, but I must be going," he says, and bows once again. "Good evening, Hatake-san." As he turns, something on his hand glints golden in the light from Kakashi's apartment. Looking closely, Kakashi is barely able to get a glimpse of a gold ring, worn and slightly cracked, etched with what looks like some sort of fish or perhaps a whale or dolphin. An engagement ring of some sort.

"Good evening," he answers, and shuts the door. He sets the envelope on a nearby table and is about to head toward his son's bedroom when it hits him like a wave.

He pivots in midstep and rushes out the door, clearing the stairs in one leap and dashing down the street. Up ahead, he can see the blond stranger drawing further and further away, headed toward the village gates. Kakashi picks up speed and, when he is close enough, cries out, "Wait!"

The stranger pauses and turns, and suddenly Kakashi can see it—the hair is different, the eyes are different, the scar is gone, but it is the same face. Kakashi wants to cry. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asks.

"It wasn't necessary," Iruka answers.

"You disappeared for five years," Kakashi says.

"It was the only way to stay alive," Iruka replies.

They are silent for a moment, simply staring at each other, eyes that have not met for half a decade, eyes that once spoke of happiness and desire and love. Finally, Kakashi speaks. "I'm sorry," he says.

Iruka smiles at that, though it is a sad smile. "It's all right," he says. "You have a family now, and I think you're finally happy with your life. I'm grateful for that."

"What about you?"

"I'm managing."

Another pause. Then: "We could run away—"

"No," Iruka says, his eyes suddenly hard. "Don't abandon your family for a dead man. Please, Kakashi."

Silence. Finally, Kakashi smiles; it is hidden by his mask, but Iruka could always tell. When the jounin speaks, his voice is steady. "Thanks for dropping by," he says.

Iruka smiles too. "It should be the last time."

"Goodbye, Iruka," Kakashi says.

"Goodbye, Kakashi," Iruka says.

And Iruka turns and walks out of Kakashi's life, and Kakashi lets him go, because they are shinobi, and they understand.


	5. Hack

**A/N: **Well, here's the next entry. I must warn you that there isn't much to it; I sort of just sat down before my keyboard and typed whatever happened to come up in my mind, thus the plot is a bit choppy. I'd like to know what you think anyway though, so comments are greatly appreciated.

This is an AU fic, not set in the Narutoverse but more in our own modern world. Just a pointer for you. The writing style is also an old type of style I used to use when I was writing all my spy stories; yep, I started out as an almost purely action writer.

The passwords entered into the computer script are zeroes because FFN disallows asterisks. I think that's one of the major blunders with this system...

* * *

**Title: **Hack 

**Themes: **#10 – Loyalty; #14 – Food; #29 – Vacation; #50 – Computers.

* * *

Umino Iruka was very, very confused. Sitting in total darkness because of the cloth bag that had been shoved rather rudely over his head, he tried his best to analyze his surroundings using other senses. He could tell that they were still in the car because of the vibrations of the engine, and he could hear men—at least two—sitting somewhere near him, their guns clinking merrily in their holsters. 

He tried to remember what time it had been when he had stepped out of his apartment to get his mail and the white unmarked van had pulled up, uniformed men had jumped out, grabbed him, and stuffed him into the car. It was hard, considering how jumbled his mind was at the moment; one of the guys had hit him rather hard in the head when he had tried to resist.

He didn't think they were law enforcement. The last time he'd been arrested, the police had broken down his door, sure, but they hadn't used much actual physical force. They didn't have to; Iruka had willingly surrendered himself to them because he had already destroyed the evidence. They had let him off within a week.

So these people could not be the government; they were too rough. Which meant that it was probably an independent organization, or some group shirking the law. Though what they wanted with him was beyond Iruka's knowledge.

His thoughts dissipated when he felt the car starting to slow down. Frowning, he tried his best to stay still. Any sudden movements and he was liable to get shot.

The door opened; dim light flooded Iruka's vision even through the bag. Then rough hands seized him, dragging him out of the car and pulling him along a cold concrete floor that was smooth and slippery beneath his feet. He was pulled down several hallways, turning at least three corners, before he heard the distinct sound of a door opening. Someone grabbed him by the shoulder, steered him several steps forward into the room, and shoved him down into what felt like a hard metal chair.

That's when the bag came off, and Iruka had to blink for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the sudden light. When they focused enough, he could finally make out what looked like a small, empty room, with only the chair he was sitting on, a metal table with what looked like a closed laptop sitting on it just within arm's reach, and a bright bulb on a string hanging overhead.

"Welcome, welcome."

Iruka blinked and turned at the voice, watching as a tall man with long black hair and pale, almost-white skin walked forward into the light. "Allow me to introduce myself," the newcomer said. "My name is Orochimaru." Peering closely, Iruka could just barely make out two more figures standing behind Orochimaru, lost in the blackness that was the rest of the room.

Iruka glared, reverting his attention back to Orochimaru. "You're the one who brought me here?" he asked.

Orochimaru nodded. "Yes," he said. "Forgive the…ah, rather rude manner we used. I was afraid there wouldn't be another way to…persuade you to come."

"Hn." Iruka sat back in the chair, folding his arms behind his head. "Okay, what do you want with me?"

"It's very simple," Orochimaru said, reaching forward and opening the laptop. The start screen flashed to life, and Iruka blinked as the dark-haired man continued, "We know of your…abilities, Umino Iruka. Or should I say Dolphin, quite possibly the best computer hacker in Konoha?"

"Oh, I'm flattered," Iruka said. "Want my autograph?"

"No, no, just your help," Orochimaru said. "You see, my organization has…ah, certain needs. And these needs require the aid of someone with your skills."

Iruka held his gaze. "You want me to hack into something for you."

"Precisely," Orochimaru said. "I need you to hack into ANBU."

Iruka's back straightened like a spring. "ANBU?" he repeated. "You want _me_ to hack into _ANBU?_"

Orochimaru crooked an eyebrow. "Is there a problem, Dolphin?"

"You realize that ANBU is the government's central intelligence branch," Iruka said, "and that it would take the average hacker at least six months to break into its systems, if he does it at all."

"Ah, but rumor has it you're not the average hacker," Orochimaru said with a smile. "After all, Dolphin is listed as number Twenty-One in the Bingo book for a reason, I presume."

Iruka gave him one more glare for good measure before settling back in his chair and closing his eyes. "Even saying that, it'd take me at least a week. And I'm not gonna waste my time with something like that. Go find someone else."

"Iruka." Suddenly Orochimaru was right there, nose almost touching Iruka's. The hacker gasped and nearly fell over his chair, but the black-haired man reached forward, catching both of his wrists in a painful death grip and forcing them onto the arms of the chair. "There is no room for negotiation."

Iruka, to his credit, managed to rip together enough of his self-control to conjure a pretty convincing "Fuck you."

"It's this simple," Orochimaru said, ignoring his comment entirely. "It's either your fingers that hit that keyboard…" He indicated the laptop with his finger, while rising a bit and nodding to one of the figures in the shadows. The man indicated walked forward; Iruka was surprised to see how young he was, dark hair hanging just a little before his face, black eyes serious. The man—or boy, he couldn't have been more than a teenager—came to the other side of Iruka's chair, drew his pistol, and pressed it to Iruka's temple.

The hacker jumped, and Orochimaru smiled. "Or your brains," he said. "It's your choice. And I suggest you don't tempt Sasuke here. He has a rather unhealthy affinity for blood."

Iruka forced a laugh, though he could not conceal the fear in his tone. "You've got to be kidding."

Orochimaru rose, glancing at his watch. "You said you could do it in a week," he said, "but I have faith in you. I'll give you five minutes, starting now."

Iruka blinked. "Wait—what—"

"Four minutes fifty-five seconds, Iruka."

No more room for argument. Iruka dove at the laptop, fingers flying over the keyboard as he began entering code segments.

RUN SEQ 883A‗

BR SND FIREWALL‗

PASS: ٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭

ACCESS DENIED‗

RUN SEQ ZX459‗

BR PRIM FIREWALL‗

PASS: ٭٭٭٭٭٭

ACCESS DENIED‗

"Four minutes," Orochimaru said calmly, leaning against the edge of the table.

Iruka cursed quietly to himself, trying to ignore the cold feeling of the gun pressed to his head as he searched for another port of entry.

RUN AC42 PRGM‗

WNDW 778 FOUND‗

RUN SEQ 867C‗

BR PRIM CODE‗

PASS: ٭٭٭٭٭٭٭

ACCESS DENIED‗

"Shit," he whispered.

"Three minutes ten seconds," Orochimaru said.

CODE INIT‗

PASS: ٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭

ACCESS DENIED‗

TRANSMISSION TERMINATED‗

RUN SEQ 463A‗

BR SND FIREWALL‗

PASS: ٭٭٭٭٭

ACCESS DENIED‗

"One minute," Orochimaru said. "I suggest you hurry—"

"Shut up shut up shut _up_—" Iruka unleashed his personal program.

RUN 'CLOX'‗

PRGM INIT‗

USER ID: 4330NW6‗

PASS: ٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭٭

WELCOME IRUKA‗

"Ten seconds. Nine…"

RUN SEQ AA3‗

RUN SEQ BT70‗

MULT RUN SEQ 462H‗

LOC FIREWALL‗

MULT PASS 779 : 1523‗

PROCESSING…

"Five…four…"

PROCESSING…

"Three…two…one…"

"No _wait—_"

A gunshot rang out in the room. Iruka half-jumped out of his seat, waiting for the pain, the cloudiness or whatever the hell happened when you died—but he felt nothing.

Blinking, he looked up. Sasuke still had the gun in his hand, except it was aimed at the ceiling, where a new bullet hole was still smoking in the cement. Next to him stood what could only have been the other shadowed figure, hand wrapped firmly around Sasuke's wrist to ruin his aim. The newcomer had silver hair and half of his face was covered by a dark blue mask.

Orochimaru slowly got up from the table, and when he spoke his voice was dangerous. "What are you doing, Kakashi?"

"Forgive me, Orochimaru," Kakashi said, "But I'm sure he'll be worth more to you alive."

"Alive?" Orochimaru repeated. "He couldn't even get into the system!"

PROCESSING…

ACCESS GRANTED‗

Kakashi released his hold on Sasuke's wrist and tapped the computer screen lightly. "See?"

Orochimaru just stared for a moment, as did Iruka. Finally, though, the dark-haired man burst into laughter. "Very good, very good," he said, applauding Iruka slowly. "I'm very impressed."

By now Iruka had regained enough control to speak again. "Does that mean you'll let me go?" he asked.

Orochimaru smiled. "We'll just have to see about that."

* * *

The click of the electronic lock and the sound of the thick metal door opening startled Iruka out of his half-slumber. Springing to a sitting position on the cold, hard bed, he turned and blinked as a tall figure stepped into his holding room, carrying a metal tray. 

"Yo," Kakashi said, smiling beneath his mask as he offered the tray to Iruka. "Thought you might want something to eat. Got coffee too; I swiped the sugar for you."

Iruka eyed him carefully. "You're the guy who saved me, right?"

"Yep," Kakashi answered. "Most of these are just snack foods. Sorry, but Orochimaru has a thing about making his prisoners too comfortable."

"I'm not hungry." Iruka's stomach chose that moment to growl, and Kakashi laughed.

"Your body seems to disagree with you," he said, and smiled again at Iruka's stubborn look. "Saa, Iruka, it's not poisoned. I'll bet once you start, you won't find it so bad. I eat all the time when I'm stressed out like this."

"In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly in the same position," Iruka pointed out, but reached for the food anyway.

Kakashi took a seat beside him on the bed, pulled down his mask, and lit a cigarette. "So tell me," he said after a moment, nearly causing Iruka to choke on his food, "What do you do outside of this…business that you have?"

Iruka looked at him long and hard for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not it was safe to tell. When all Kakashi did was continue to puff on his cigarette, the younger man shrugged and sighed, sipping some coffee. "I teach at the local high school," he said. "Computer science and math."

"Ah, not surprising."

"You?"

"I don't feel like telling you."

"Bastard."

"Indeed."

They once again sat in silence for a moment until all the food and coffee was finished, whereas Kakashi collected the tray and rose. "Well, Iruka, it's been nice talking with you," he said, heading for the door again. "I'll be back eventually. Is there anything I can get you?"

Iruka finished swallowing and sat back on the bed. "Got any chewing gum?" When Kakashi crooked an eyebrow, he managed a smile. "Makes me less nervous."

The silver-haired man dug around in his pockets for a while before producing a single stick. Walking across the room, he placed it carefully in Iruka's hand. "Don't forget, Iruka," he said, his voice a low whisper, "You could have friends here if you'd just look." Then he straightened and smiled. "See you later."

"…Yeah." The door creaked as it clanged shut, and as soon as the lock clicked Iruka sprang up from the bed, carefully removing the gum from its wrapper and sticking it in his mouth. Chewing quickly, he reached into the far corner of the bed and pulled out a small end of the spring that he had managed to break off earlier, hurrying to the locking mechanism on the wall, carefully inserting the spring into a crack in the hinge and pulling. With any luck, two minutes and he'd be out of this hellhole.

* * *

Kakashi was almost back to Orochimaru's room when his cell phone beeped. Frowning, he reached down and flipped it open; a single text message was waiting. 

SCARECROW:

OPERATION ST. 5 MINS

MEET GARAGE W FOR ORDERS

Quickly he closed the phone, pivoted in midstride, and set off at a jog toward the garage. Once there, he could easily make out several shadows moving in the bushes nearby; he sprinted toward them.

One of them spoke as soon as he got within earshot. "Good, you got the message," Morino Ibiki said.

"Didn't expect ANBU to strike so soon," Kakashi said, shedding his outer gear in favor of dark clothing like his companions.

"Records show we were hacked a few hours ago; the trail leads here," Ibiki answered. "We need to take Orochimaru out before he finds out too much. How did he manage to get into our system anyway?"

"Help from outside," Kakashi answered, pulling his mask up and taking up his weapon. "Involuntary help though. We have to make sure he doesn't get caught in the crossfire."

"Roger that," Ibiki said. "You're sure Orochimaru's still in there?"

"Has been for the last five months," Kakashi said. "Hey, c'mon, I've been ANBU for almost ten years. You know where my loyalties lie."

"I do," Ibiki said. "Do you?"

* * *

"Come on, come on…" The panel was a godforsaken object, Iruka decided as he continued to pry at its metal edges. "Come on, damnit!" 

_Click!_ The panel opened. Breathing a sigh of relief, Iruka tossed the spring away and peered carefully at the criss-crossing wires within. Now if he knew the schematics correctly…

Reaching carefully forward, he took one of the blue wires and carefully used his nail to scrape away at the covering until he could see the copper inside. _Bingo._ Praying that the current running through the wire wasn't stronger than expected, he leaned forward and bit through the wire.

Something beeped, but that wasn't good enough. Reaching into the farthest corner of the box, Iruka finally managed to locate two red wires set carefully against each other, close but not touching. Taking the foil from the chewing gum, he carefully wrapped it around both ends of the wires, completing the circuit.

A series of clicks sounded, followed by a low groan as the metal door opened just an inch. Quickly Iruka rushed forward, prying the door open and slipping into the hallway outside.

The lights overhead were dim; he could barely see in front of himself as he slowly made his way down the hallway, looking for the nearest exit. He was just beginning to realize that he was utterly, hopelessly lost when the sound of gunfire broke the silence.

Iruka jumped, diving to the floor on instinct. When he realized that the gunshots were coming from the other side of the compound, though, he sprang quickly to his feet and sprinted toward it. His reasoning was that where there were gunshots, there were people. And where there were people shooting at each other, there was sure to be people who didn't like Orochimaru and who could get him out of here.

Had he known it was ANBU shooting, he might have gone in the opposite direction.

The next door he burst through flooded him with blinding white light. Iruka stumbled backward, throwing a hand up in an attempt to keep himself from being blinded, and silhouetted in the light he could see several figures dressed in what looked like SWAT uniforms, guns trained on him. One of them started to bark something but then another one of the soldiers quickly rushed forward, planting himself between Iruka and the others.

"This one's okay," Kakashi said as Iruka blinked in confusion. "Let him go."

"Sir!" They all turned as another soldier burst into the room, panting and out of breath.

Kakashi turned. "What is it, Izumo?"

Izumo straightened. "Orochimaru is dead."

* * *

Kakashi made his way slowly down the long hallway, greeting the guard with a nod of his head as he came to a stop before the closed cell door. "I want to speak with him," he said. 

The guard nodded and slid his card through the key slot. Something beeped and the door unlocked; Kakashi stepped into the dark room within.

Iruka looked up upon his entrance and managed a smile. "Looks like I just go from one cell to another," he remarked, blinking several times so that his eyes could adjust to the light.

Kakashi smiled at that. "Well, they know you were coerced into it, so chances are you won't be indicted for that crime," he said. "Though your past history as Dolphin ensures you a sentence of at least fifteen years."

"Ah." Iruka lay back on the hard bed. "Guess I'd better start getting used to this place then." He turned just enough to open one eye at Kakashi. "Clever of you, to be playing the double agent."

Kakashi shrugged. "Standard ANBU procedure," he said, walking forward and holding out his hand. Iruka straightened, blinking at the small stick of chewing gum in the other man's palm.

Kakashi grinned at the hacker's shocked look. "There's no surveillance in the service corridors," he whispered. "And if you can find a Mitarashi Anko—she lives in the eastern sector of Konoha, down by Dock Forty-Nine—she can make some arrangements for you. Just tell her I sent you, and you'll be okay."

Iruka frowned slightly. "Why are you doing this?" he asked in a low whisper.

"I know where my loyalties lie," Kakashi said, setting the gum in Iruka's hand and straightening, lifting a hand in farewell. "See you later." And he exited the room.

* * *

Four months later, a small postcard arrived in Kakashi's mail. It was postmarked from Jamaica and contained the simple message, "Thanks for everything, wish you were here!" There was no sender. 

Kakashi grinned at that. Pocketing the postcard, he rose from his chair to address his partner. "I'm taking a two-week vacation," he said.

Uchiha Obito looked up from his newspaper. "Vacation? Since when?"

"Since now." Kakashi placed the file he had been working on into a folder in his desk drawer, kicked the drawer shut, and headed for the door.

"Where're you going?" Obito asked, blinking in confusion.

Kakashi turned and smiled. "Jamaica," he said, and walked out.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh, I forgot to mention that the little scene with Iruka typing away at the laptop with a gun to his head was originally inspired by a similar scene from the movie "Swordfish." 


	6. Music

**A/N: **What can I say about this? It's a drabble about music. I remember I felt like just writing dialogue, so this was born.

As usual, comments appreciated.

* * *

**Title: **Music

**Themes: **#20 – Music.

* * *

_Boom, boom._

Eye twitch.

"Kakashi."

"Hrmm…?"

Twitch, twitch.

_Boom, boom._

"Will you turn that off!"

"Turn what off?"

_Boom._

"That!"

"This? But I like it."

"It sounds like a thunderstorm! Or Chouza-san after dinner! Turn it off _now!_"

"But Iruka—"

"Now, Kakashi!"

_Boom, boo—_click.

Silence.

"Happy?"

"Yes, thank you."

More silence. Scribble, scribble of Iruka's pen.

Shuffle of papers.

Then…

"Dum, dum…"

Papers stop shuffling.

"Dum, dum-dee-dum, dum…"

Pen stops scribbling.

"Dum…"

Eye twitch starting.

"Dum dee dum…"

"Kakashi…"

"Du—yes?"

"Will you please stop?"

"Stop what? Dum!"

"That."

"This? But I'm humming. Don't you like my humming?"

"Not when you're about as tone-deaf as a rock."

"I know you'd like a _different _kind of humming—"

_Thwack._

"Ow!"

"You deserved it."

"Damnit, Iruka, stop being so picky! I'm a part of this relationship too and I don't always have to give in to you and your fussiness! So why don't you just suck it up for once, damn chuunin!"

Glare.

"…I'm not going to give in to that."

_GLARE._

"…Fine, I'll stop."

"Thank you." Huff.

Silence.

Pen scratches, out of ink. _Clink_ into the wastebasket.

_Pop_ of a new pen being uncapped.

Scribble, scribble.

_Tap._

Scrib—silence.

_Tap, tap, tap._

A sigh.

_Tap._

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

_Tap, tap._

Shuffling as papers are set aside, pen is tossed into a nearby drawer.

"…We really need to work on your music preferences."


	7. I Heard You

**A/N: **This entry is rather long, and perhaps a bit too fluffy for my taste. I kind of like the idea of an utterly pissed-off Kakashi though. Who doesn't love dangerous men?

* * *

**Title: **I Heard You 

**Themes: **#8 – Dreams; #19 – Torture; #40 – War with myself; #45 – Memories.

* * *

The instant Hatake Kakashi stepped through the double doors of the hospital, people knew something was wrong. 

No shinobi in Konoha, jounin or otherwise, could radiate an intent like that. It wasn't a killing intent—not precisely, anyway. It was more of an aura: a hint of worry, a drop of fear, but mostly just utter, utter _fury._

It was worse than a killing intent, this raw anger that emanated from the twenty-eight-year-old shinobi as he slowly made his way toward the receptionist's desk. The other ninja in the waiting room quickly backed to the wall as he passed by; several civilians ran into the bathroom to wretch; young children started bawling. But Kakashi ignored them all as he finally reached the receptionist's desk, looking carefully over it at the small woman glued to her seat behind it.

When he spoke, his voice was low, almost a hiss. "I want to see Umino Iruka," he said.

The clerk swallowed, nodding slowly as she reached with shaking fingers toward a large white binder at the corner of her desk. "M-May I ask your—"

"_Now._"

The young woman jumped, flipping through the binder as fast as she could. "R-Room 326!" she almost screamed.

Kakashi nodded and vanished in a puff of smoke. Instantly the entire room seemed to take a simultaneous breath and relax. Very slowly, the buzz of conversation resumed as the now-sobbing clerk was slowly led away from the desk by her colleagues.

In the far corner of the room, Sarutobi Asuma gave his broad shoulders a shake, bending down and picking up the cigarette he had dropped when Kakashi had entered the room. Tossing the now-extinguished butt into a nearby ashtray, he lit a fresh cigarette and took a moment to puff on it and regain his composure. Only then did he turn to his red-eyed companion. "Kakashi looks awfully pissed off."

Yuuhi Kurenai nodded slowly, carefully replacing the kunai she had drawn. "You can't blame him though," she said. "I'd feel the same way if I came back from a mission to find out my lover was in a coma."

* * *

Doctors and assistants were dropping their instruments. Patients, shinobi or otherwise, were tossing in their beds, groaning. Nurses were huddling in little bunches at the sides of the hallway, whispering, some crying. But Kakashi did not acknowledge them, did not even see them as he made his way down the long hallway, headed toward Room 326. 

Halfway there, one of the doctors finally stepped into his path, blocking his progress. He was a short, rather stocky middle-aged man, with the air of someone used to ordering other people around. He was a civilian, not a medic-nin, and his body shook slightly as he looked up at the tall shinobi who now stood stony and silent before him.

"I'm sorry, sir," the doctor said, sweat glistening on his balding forehead, "but you'll have to drop that intent. It's making the patients nervous, and the hospital staff can't—"

Kakashi's image flickered for an eyeblink, and suddenly the doctor was suspended in the air, feet dangling helplessly a foot off the floor as the masked shinobi glared at him with his single dangerous blue eye, gloved hand wrapped firmly around the doctor's throat.

The man's eyes bulged as he struggled and fought, clawing at Kakashi's hand with his fingers, but Kakashi made no reaction. When he spoke, his voice was the same low hiss as before. "Don't get in my way," he said, and swung his arm around, releasing his hold. The doctor went tumbling into a nearby meal cart.

Nobody moved; nobody dared. Kakashi continued walking.

When he had almost reached the open doorway leading into Room 326, he found his path blocked again, but this time by someone much more menacing. Tsunade, Godaime Hokage of Hidden Leaf, watched him with careful hazel eyes, hands at her hips. Standing at his full height, Kakashi towered a full head above her, but they both knew that didn't make a difference. The Hokage was, after all, the number-one ninja in Konoha for a reason.

When Tsunade spoke, her voice was serious. "Drop that intent now," she said, "Or you're not going in to see him."

Kakashi just stood there for a second. Two. Then his shoulders slumped, his entire body sagged just slightly, and the aura of fury dissipated.

The patients went still in their beds. There were sighs of relief echoed down the hallway.

Tsunade did not acknowledge them, focused entirely on Kakashi. The tall jounin was now completely changed; his posture was tired, his single eye sad. Very slowly, the Hokage nodded and moved aside to allow him room to pass.

Kakashi walked inside.

The first thought that crossed his mind when he looked toward the small hospital bed was, _He looks just like he's sleeping._

Twenty-six-year-old Umino Iruka was lying face-up on the bed, white hospital sheets tucked carefully around his lithe frame. Various wires ran under the sheets, leading to monitors and instruments that beeped and whirred and created a strange echo in the room. Where there were no instruments, every available space from the bed to the small window was filled with flowers, stuffed animals, get-well cards.

Kakashi swept his eye quickly over them.

_Dear Iruka-sensei—_

_Get well soon, Iruka-sensei—_

_I miss u so much, Sensei—_

_The substitute is horrible, Iruka-sensei! Please come back soon—_

Kakashi smiled softly, sadly beneath his mask. He wasn't the only one who loved Iruka.

Iruka's face was calm, peaceful, just the way he looked whenever Kakashi woke before dawn and turned to watch him. Iruka was beautiful when he slept; he was beautiful other times too, but Kakashi worshipped him when he was sleeping. Iruka looked so _human_ when he slept—and that was the blessing Kakashi was most grateful for. This chuunin was his anchor; Iruka taught him humanity, pulled him back from the brink of insanity, held him close and comforted him when Kakashi finally broke.

And now Kakashi had come home from a month-long mission, fully looking forward to relaxing with his lover, only to be told that Iruka had been in a coma in the hospital for the last week.

"—appened?"

Kakashi blinked, surprised at how he had drifted off so easily, and turned to face Tsunade. "I'm sorry, Hokage-sama, what did you say?"

The blonde kunoichi walked up to Iruka's bedside, bending down to check the monitor screens. "I said, did they tell you what happened?"

Kakashi shook his head. "All they said was that they brought him back a week ago."

Tsunade nodded. "Six days, to be exact," she said. "He was already out when they brought him here. There was nothing I could do; I could only make him as comfortable as possible."

Kakashi sighed, pulling a chair up and sitting, hand grasping Iruka's under the sheets. "Was the mission classified?" _Can you tell me who the hell did this?_

"Not anymore," Tsunade said. "Reconnaissance mission to Sound, four-man team. They were ambushed near Konoha's borders, and one of the Sound nin hit Iruka with a weird jutsu. He fell, and his teammates rushed him back to us."

She was silent for a moment. "I did some analysis on his brain activity and chakra fluctuations," she said. "Outside, he's at perfect peace, but inside, it's chaos."

"You mean his unconscious?" Kakashi asked.

Tsunade nodded. "Seems like the jutsu goes right in there and starts screwing things up. I'd give him another week or so before he goes braindead."

Kakashi shuddered, but Tsunade kept right on going. "And there's no medical procedure I know of that allows me to access his unconscious mind," she said, "short of an advanced bloodline, like the Sharingan, maybe."

She paused to let the effect sink in before continuing on in the same toneless voice. "Of course, I'm not suggesting that you use your Sharingan to take a peek inside; that would be outside my authority, and would be exceedingly dangerous for both of you. If you're in there, you risk getting yourself lost inside and messing things up for Iruka even more. But then there's also the slight chance that you'll figure out what's going on and fix it, whereas you'll both do just fine. But I'm not suggesting that you sneak in after visiting hours when security is halved, and give it a shot. I'm not suggesting you go home and get plenty of rest before attempting it. And I am _certainly_ not suggesting you do it tonight, when I'll be withdrawing the ANBU guards from the hospital for a meeting."

She paused for a moment to make sure Kakashi had processed the whole thing. The jounin was currently staring at her, single blue eye betraying pure shock; she could almost see his mouth hanging open beneath the mask.

Tsunade shrugged and turned. "I'll be going now; there're some things I have to attend to," she said. "Don't do anything stupid, Kakashi." And she walked out.

Kakashi slowly turned back to Iruka; the chuunin had not moved from his previous position and was still lying exactly as he had been before, sleeping soundly. Very slowly, the jounin reached forward to brush a few strands of brown out of Iruka's face before bending down and pressing a kiss to Iruka's forehead through the mask.

"I'll see you tonight," he whispered, and left through the window.

* * *

The sky was a blanket of darkness, the night air completely still when Hatake Kakashi once again appeared at the hospital, this time creeping carefully up the thick gray walls like some huge spider, using chakra in his hands and feet to keep himself attached to the smooth concrete. He reached Iruka's third-story window within a few moments and slipped quietly inside. 

The young chuunin was just the same as when Kakashi had left that afternoon; still lying sleeping and still beneath the almost disgustingly clean white hospital sheets. Kakashi had never liked hospitals; the sterility, the insistence on utter _cleanliness_ reminded him rather morbidly of how one cleans up a body after it dies.

Walking slowly across the room to the bed, Kakashi glanced quickly out the open doorway. The hallway outside was empty; as promised, Tsunade had called away all the ANBU guards that night. That left only the regular hospital sentries, who rarely went from room to room. He would be able to work in peace.

Quietly taking a seat on the chair he had drawn up to the bed earlier that afternoon, Kakashi slowly reached up, removing his hitai-ate and exposing his Sharingan glowing dull red in the dim light. Carefully setting the hitai-ate aside, he took a moment to observe his lover in the serenity of his sleep, quiet and peaceful, before reaching forward with one ungloved hand and slowly gathering Iruka to him. With the chuunin's upper body cradled to his chest, Kakashi allowed a moment to calm himself and to pray that he knew what he was doing, before taking a deep breath and concentrating.

Heat burst from the Sharingan.

_JOLTFLICKERFLASH FALL FALL FALL—_

The sunlight was red, fading—sunset. He was standing in the middle of the sandy street, with the bookstore behind him, Ichiraku's to his left, and the Hokage's tower looming in the distance. Hidden Leaf village, without a doubt. Except something about it felt…old. Familiar. Like he was having déjà vu of some sort, and not just about the village.

Hm. Weird.

"Ah, that was good! Keep the change; see ya later, Jiji!"

Kakashi froze at the voice, missing the indignant retort ("Who're you calling Jiji!") as his mind zoned in on the voice, a cheerful tone he had not heard in almost two decades.

And then the Yondaime Hokage parted the flaps of Ichiraku's and stepped into the street.

For a brief moment Kakashi's mind went entirely blank as he stared at his sensei, all spiky blond hair and bright blue eyes and cheerful smile, so unmistakably alive. But how could that be—Sensei was dead, had died when the Kyuubi attacked, had sacrificed himself—

Unless the Kyuubi hadn't attacked yet.

And then suddenly it dawned on him—this place, this time, this feeling, it all made sense. Because he _had_ been here before. Because this was Konoha more than fifteen years ago. Before Kyuubi. Before Naruto. When everything had been well and good, and Sensei had been alive.

Very slowly, he took a step forward and raised a shaking hand. "S-Sens—"

"_Sensei!_"

Kakashi jumped, spinning around and staring as a brown-haired teenager ran past him, sandals clicking softly in the dirt. The soft eyes, the dark markings on the cheeks were impossible to miss. _Rin._

Rin ran right past him, slightly out of breath as she finally reached Yondaime. "Sensei, you're needed at your office right away!"

Sensei frowned slightly. "What's the problem, Rin?"

"It's a huge chakra disturbance right at Konoha's borders," Rin said, dropping her voice to a whisper that Kakashi had to strain to catch. "Jiraiya-sama sent me to tell you right away—he suspects it might be, you know, _it._"

"You mean the Kyuubi?" Sensei whispered, voice urgent and worried.

Rin nodded. "He says the red chakra is unmistakable," she said, "and he needs to see you right away because it looks like the Kyuubi's getting ready to cross over."

Sensei nodded. "All right, I'll be right there," he said. "Rin, is Kakashi back from his mission yet?"

The young chuunin shook her head. "I'm not sure, but I don't think so," she said. "Though I could be wrong. ANBU missions are always classified."

Kakashi felt his throat constrict. He _had_ gotten back from his mission that day—just in time to see his sensei fall.

_Kakashi!_

Kakashi jumped and spun. Where had that voice come from? It had sounded faint, distant, like an echo. Or maybe he had been imagining it?

"Okay, when he gets back, tell him to come see me right away," Sensei said, and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Shaking her head with worry, Rin vanished as well, leaving Kakashi standing alone in the middle of the street, wondering what the hell was going on, and trying to convince himself that the sudden blurring of his vision was not caused by tears threatening to spill.

God, _Sensei was alive._ And so was Rin. The Kyuubi hadn't appeared yet, though it seemed that it was about to. And here was Kakashi right in the middle of it all.

But _why_ was he here? Why had Iruka's mind chosen to mold this memory inside its unconscious? Was it the jutsu? Maybe it was designed to make the victim relive a painful memory, because Kakashi clearly remembered how Iruka's parents had died in the Kyuubi attack. Perhaps prolonged exposure to repetitive traumatic scenes was a type of torture that the jutsu implemented in order to break down its victim. Perhaps—

"Um, excuse me?"

Kakashi froze. The voice was higher-pitched, not as rough, but thoroughly recognizable. Very slowly, he turned around.

Eleven-year-old Umino Iruka was standing behind him, arms full of books, staring up at him with big, innocent brown eyes. The little boy smiled sheepishly, a little fearfully. "Sorry, Ojisan, but would you mind moving aside? You're blocking the road and I don't wanna drop these books."

Kakashi blinked, remembering how Sensei and Rin had both ignored him before. "You can see me?" he asked.

Iruka blinked before laughing. "Of course I can see you, Ojisan," he said. "Now could you please move? Kaachan will get mad if I don't get these books back to her on time."

_Kaachan._ And then it occurred to Kakashi.

He was here; Iruka was here; Kyuubi had not yet attacked, and Iruka's parents were still alive.

He could save Iruka and his family. All he had to do was delay Iruka a bit—

Something suddenly exploded in the distance, shaking the entire ground. Iruka cried out in surprise and fell to his knees, scattering the books everywhere; Kakashi managed to stay upright, flailing a bit before settling and peering quickly into the distance.

Red flashed against the darkening sky. The Kyuubi was here.

Beside him, Iruka stared. "What is that thing?" he cried as the Kyuubi roared and flicked one of its massive tails. Instantly a large portion of the forest exploded into flame.

Alarms began to sound; people were screaming; shinobi were hurrying toward the village gates. The attack had begun.

"Ojisan!" Iruka cried. "What is that?"

"Kyuubi," Kakashi breathed. "Nine-tailed fox, right on time."

Iruka's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Wh-What do you mean 'right on—'" And then he gasped, seeming to realize something, and his face turned pale. "Oh no—Kaachan and Touchan are out there!"

He spun and started to run, but Kakashi instantly reached forward, grabbing his arm and halting his progress. "No, you can't go there!" he yelled over the blaring of the alarms. Around them and above them, black shadows flickered by as ninja hurried to fend off the angry monster. "It's dangerous—you'll be killed!"

"But my parents—let go!" Iruka screamed, clawing at Kakashi's hand. "Let go, let go you _bastard_ let me go—"

And then a familiar chakra presence flickered by above them and Kakashi looked up just in time to see Sensei darting across the rooftops, Rin at his side, and for a brief moment his brain flicked between saving his sensei and saving Iruka.

That moment of indecision was all Iruka needed; with the instinctive loosening of Kakashi's hand he kicked out, catching the jounin completely by surprise so that Kakashi released his hold completely, and immediately Iruka was gone.

Kakashi didn't even have time to register what had happened before the world flashed white for a moment, so white that he thought he might be blinded, before the light retreated as soon as it had come, and Kakashi found himself standing in the middle of the forest. There was debris everywhere: broken branches, weapons, body parts, splashes of blood, ninja and civilians dead and dying. Kakashi wanted to be sick.

And then he saw Iruka, standing alone in the middle of the clearing, staring in fear and utter horror as the shadow of the Kyuubi engulfed him in darkness, the monster's tails flicking through the sky. Iruka's parents were nowhere to be seen.

_Where was the runner?_ Kakashi screamed inside his head, looking frantically around, but there was nobody. Where was the runner who was supposed to take Iruka away? Where was—

And then the Kyuubi roared again, and one of its tails came swinging through the trees, demolishing everything in its path, headed straight for Iruka. The boy did not move, paralyzed with fear.

Kakashi leaped forward—he had to save Iruka—but suddenly found that he could not move. Spinning around, he was horrified to see that his wrists and ankles were all shackled with thick metal chains that were rooted in the ground; he was trapped.

Quickly he tried to bring his hands together, tried to form seals or reach for a weapon, but the chains strained against him, keeping him down. And as he looked up, he saw the massive fiery tail tear through the last line of forest, tear across the clearing, tear right through Iruka.

_Kakashi!_

Blood splattered onto the dirt, and Kakashi screamed. Screamed and cried and fell—

"Um, excuse me?"

Kakashi blinked, realizing he was breathing hard, and spun around. Iruka looked up at him, arms full of books, the sunset red behind him. He smiled in embarrassment. "Sorry, Ojisan, but would you mind moving aside? You're blocking the road and I don't wanna drop these books."

Kakashi could only stare for a moment. What had happened? Why was he back here? Why was Iruka still alive? Why—

"Ojisan?" Iruka blinked. "You okay?"

"Um." Kakashi took a deep breath, drawing on chakra to calm himself. "Yes, fine."

"Okay." Iruka smiled. "Now um, could you please move? Kaachan will get mad if I don't get these books back to her on time."

It was the jutsu; it had to be. The jutsu was testing him, testing to see whether or not he could save Iruka. Maybe that was the trick: if he saved Iruka, if he made sure Iruka survived the Kyuubi attack, maybe that was the key to dismantling the jutsu. Maybe—

Iruka cocked his head. "Hey, Ojisan—"

An explosion; the ground shook. Iruka fell to the ground; the books scattered. Kakashi did not have to look; he heard the familiar roar.

"Ojisan! What is that?"

"Kyuubi," Kakashi said. "Nine-tailed fox—you have to come with me now!"

He grabbed Iruka's arm, but the boy began screaming. "Oh no—Kaachan and Touchan are out there! Let me go—I have to go to them! Let go! _Bastard!_"

But Kakashi wasn't listening; was focusing entirely on dragging the screaming, kicking boy down the street, away from the village gates, away from the forest, away from the monster.

"_Let go!_" Iruka shrieked, kicking futilely at Kakashi; the jounin did not feel it. "Let go! They're going to die!"

"_You're_ going to die if you go to them!" Kakashi yelled back, seeing out of the corner of his eye shinobi rushing past them. He saw Sensei and Rin fly by, but clamped down and ignored them; he could not save them. He could only save Iruka.

_Kakashi!_

Once again Kakashi jumped at the voice. Who was calling him? It was still distant, still an echo, but he knew someone was there, someone was calling, someone—

"_Kawarimi no Jutsu!_"

Suddenly Kakashi found himself holding one of Iruka's books, and he cursed and flung it away, turning just in time to see Iruka disappear. Iruka had looked so innocent, so young that Kakashi had forgotten he knew ninjutsu.

Quickly he took a step forward, already reaching for a weapon, when the world flashed white again.

When it cleared, he was in the forest again, except in a different place. Still there was debris around him: bodies and branches and blood, but Kyuubi was behind him, still roaring. And Iruka—

Chakra flickered to his right and Kakashi spun just in time to see Iruka land on a tree branch, swinging carefully on it before heading on toward the monster. Quickly Kakashi reached forward, already yelling Iruka's name, trying to get to him before—

But the chains were holding him down again, cold and metallic and so cruel, and Kakashi couldn't move. He could only watch as Iruka continued on through the trees, continued through the blood and the bodies, continued toward Kyuubi—

And then a thick tendril of red, a fiery flicker of chakra tore through the trees, lighting everything aflame as it swung mercilessly through the greenery, twisting like some morbid red snake, twisting past the broken branches, twisting toward Iruka—

"_No!_" Kakashi yelled.

_Kakashi!_

With an inhuman shriek, the eleven-year-old boy was engulfed in red chakra and burst into flames, his burning body tumbling to the ground, and all through the horrifying episode Kakashi just kept screaming and falling and—

"Um, excuse me?"

Kakashi staggered from his standing position, gasping for breath, feeling his mask beginning to dampen from his tears. He couldn't take much more of this.

"Ojisan? You okay?"

Straightening, Kakashi swallowed hard and turned, trying not to break down at the sight of eleven-year-old Iruka looking innocently up at him from behind his armload of books. The boy smiled. "Sorry, Ojisan, but would you mind moving aside? You're blocking the road and I don't wanna drop these books."

When Kakashi spoke, his voice was hoarse. "Iruka, you have to come with me right now," he said.

The boy blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean now. Come with me _now._"

Iruka slowly took a step back as his eyes took on an expression of fear and uncertainty. "Um, Kaachan told me not to go anywhere with strangers. I'm sorry, I—"

"No, Iruka," Kakashi said, voice cracking as he reached forward toward the boy, "If you don't come with me, you're going to die—"

The explosion again; the ground shaking again. Iruka fell down; Kakashi had been expecting it and so easily stayed upright.

"Ojisan! What is that?"

"No time, Iruka—please, you have to come with me—"

"Oh no—Kaachan and Touchan are out there!" And Iruka scrambled to his feet, books forgotten.

"No!" Kakashi cried, reaching for the boy's arm, "You don't understand, you have to—"

_Kakashi!_

Iruka?

And then something came to him; he would never understand why the memory came up at that specific moment, but suddenly he remembered something his father had once told him when he had been a young boy just learning to use the tanto.

_You're too aggressive, Kakashi,_ Hatake Sakumo had said, watching as Kakashi lay panting in the dirt, tanto unresponsive in his tiny hands. _The key is to be passive. Stop trying to make things happen; you have to sit back and let them happen on their own._

Sakumo reached forward, taking the tanto and swinging it slowly in an arc over his head. _If you are passive, if you don't try to force the chakra into the blade, if you let it flow by itself, you'll be able to utilize the weapon._ A glowing band of white chakra followed the arc, and Sakumo smiled down as Kakashi stared in all of his seven-year-old awe.

_Passive, Kakashi. That's the key._

Passive.

"Kaachan! Touchan!"

Iruka leaped up onto a nearby rooftop, launching himself toward the village gates, and Kakashi just stood there in the middle of the road, watching, hand still half-gripping the air.

Passive. Iruka had survived before, without any help from Kakashi. So if Kakashi didn't interfere now, perhaps—

The world flashed white. Kakashi blinked, flinched, then watched as the light faded away. He was in the forest again, but in an area as of yet untouched by Kyuubi; the demon fox was in the distance, its roar only a faint din in Kakashi's ears.

Slowly, Kakashi turned, feeling for any chakra disturbances. Where was Iruka—

Then something flashed by in the darkness; he got a brief glimpse of a uniformed ninja, probably a chuunin, rushing through the trees with something in his arms. Something that looked suspiciously like a boy.

It was Iruka, screaming for his parents, demanding to be released, but alive.

Alive.

Kakashi felt his entire body tremble with relief and joy. Iruka was alive, and safe. The runner had him, and would bring him back to the village. He would suffer through the death of his parents, but he would live. Would live, become a teacher, befriend Naruto, love Kakashi.

Iruka would live.

The world flashed again, and suddenly Kakashi was back in the village. It was raining, the sky was dark, and the Kyuubi was nowhere to be seen. The attack was over; Sensei was dead, Rin had been killed, the bodies were being collected, the wounded were being treated. Kakashi himself, as he recalled, would be in the hospital at the moment, hoping his crushed right arm wouldn't have to be amputated.

To his right he heard sniffling, and turned to see Iruka standing alone in the rain in front of a house that had undoubtedly belonged to his family. The boy wiped angrily at his tears, stubbornly trying to stop, but they just kept coming.

Very slowly, Kakashi walked up to stand behind him. "You all right?"

Iruka sniffed. "F-Fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"They shouldn't have died! If I had g-gotten there in time, I c-could've saved them—"

"No, you couldn't, Iruka," Kakashi said, careful to keep his voice neutral. "You could only save yourself, and live on to make them proud."

Iruka spun angrily, tears streaming down his face. "What would you know about it!" he yelled. "You weren't even there, and don't even pretend to pity me! You don't even know me!"

Kakashi sighed, biting his lip underneath the mask. "You're wrong, Iruka," he said. "I know you better than anyone."

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying. I do know you, perhaps even better than you know yourself. And you want to know why?" Kakashi took a deep breath. "It's because I love you."

It felt strange saying that to an eleven-year-old boy, but it was Iruka. Iruka who laughed and cried and got mad over the most trivial things, Iruka who always had dinner prepared for him and who would wordlessly pull Kakashi to bed whenever he came home from a mission too guilty to sleep and too broken to care, Iruka whom Kakashi had to save right now.

"No." Iruka's voice broke into his thoughts, and Kakashi looked down to see the boy looking up defiantly at him, hands clenching into fists. "No, you don't."

Kakashi sighed. "Look, I know this is weird, but—"

"It's not me. It's _him_. _He's_ the one you love."

Kakashi frowned. "Him? Who's 'him?'"

Iruka looked down at the wet ground. "The same, but different."

_Kakashi!_

Suddenly it dawned on Kakashi. "You mean Iruka? The real Iruka? Is that who you're talking about?"

But the boy didn't seem to hear him. "The same, but different," he repeated, his voice beginning to undulate. "The same, but different. The s—ame, but dif—fer—ent—"

The entire world was undulating now, going up and down and circling in strange patterns, making Kakashi dizzy and sick. Everything was spiraling, spinning out of control, colors distorted and blending, sounds mixing. The boy Iruka disappeared, the old Konoha disappeared, the devastation disappeared, and suddenly—

Black. All black. Kakashi blinked, spinning around at the sudden darkness that surrounded him, opening his left eye and using his Sharingan to try to analyze this new setting. But there was nothing; just blackness. All blackness.

Then a voice: small, broken, but recognizable. "Kakashi…?"

Kakashi spun. "Iruka?" Peering into the darkness, he could see something forming, something that slowly took definitive shape: a human figure, slumped on the ground. An adult, familiar.

"Iruka!" And Kakashi ran forward toward his lover.

_JOLTFLICKERFLASH—_

Kakashi sprang up from the hospital bed, knocking the chair over so that it fell to the polished white floor with a sharp clatter. The sound startled him out of the hazy half-trance he had been put in, roused him enough so that he remembered where he was, what he had been doing.

His Sharingan ached, so Kakashi quickly shut his left eye as he turned to the hospital bed. Iruka lay there, sprawling slightly off the edge of the bed where Kakashi had dropped him. His eyes were closed; his face still calm.

There was no change.

Kakashi felt his body turn cold. Had it been futile then? Had he failed to remove the jutsu? Was Iruka still—

And then something beeped and something else whirred; turning, Kakashi stared in disbelief as the monitors and instruments slowly came to life one by one, filling the room with a strange electronic chorus.

A guard stepped into the room, alerted by the noise, and jumped when he saw Kakashi. "Hey, you, you're not supposed to be in—"

He squawked when a kunai embedded itself in the wall barely centimeters from his head. "Out," Kakashi said, glaring at him. "Next time I won't miss."

The guard turned tail and ran. Kakashi turned back to Iruka.

And saw two brown eyes looking right back up at him.

It took all of one second for Inner Kakashi to offer up profound thanks to the gods before Outer Kakashi was by Iruka's bed, gently reaching forward to touch the chuunin's forehead. "You okay?" he asked, his voice soft, almost afraid.

Iruka blinked once, slowly; Kakashi saw that his eyes were still focusing. Eventually, though, they cleared and settled firmly on him, and then Iruka spoke, voice low and raspy with disuse, but unmistakably his.

"I saw you," he whispered, one hand coming up to brush Kakashi's arm; the jounin immediately entwined their fingers. Iruka smiled. "I was watching you the whole time. I was yelling your name, but you couldn't hear me."

Kakashi slowly used his other hand to lower his mask, bending down and brushing his lips over Iruka's own. The hand holding Iruka's was shaking, and when the jounin spoke, he nearly choked. "I heard you," he whispered, smiling through his tears. "I heard you."

* * *

**A/N: **The ending scene is based off a similar scene from a Stargate SG-1 episode. I forgot which one it was, though.


	8. Weakness

**A/N: **It's been a while. Whoops.

As I recall, this entry made me very _very_ depressed when I first reread it. It got me to the point where I had to go onto the KakaIru LJ community and request cute fluffy fics in order to make myself feel better.

Just a warning, anyway.

Otherwise, enjoy.

* * *

**Title: **Weakness

**Themes: **#11 – Infatuation; #17- First encounters; #39 – Too late; #42 – At what cost.

* * *

A shinobi is not supposed to have any weaknesses.

We were taught that from a very young age. Physical weaknesses must be cured. Chakra imperfections must be trained away. Even family ties, friendships, relationships—they all came with the fine print: namely, that when it came down to your precious person and your village, it was always the village. No exceptions.

It wasn't much of a problem for us, most of the time. Most shinobi are not emotionless machines; we are human too. When someone makes a joke, we laugh. When we marry that special person and raise families, we love. When someone we care for dies, we mourn. And when it comes down to it, we sacrifice. Every ninja in a serious relationship spends a great deal of time preparing to live on without his or her partner in the event of death, because a shinobi is not supposed to have any weaknesses.

I didn't think much of it when I met Umino Iruka. He was only the chuunin who worked the missions desk on Wednesdays and Fridays, nothing more. Hardly what I would consider a weakness.

Then the Chuunin Exams came. And with them, a need to apologize to Iruka, which involved dinner and sake. And things sort of just played out from there.

We became friends, and that wasn't such a big deal. We would meet for dinner after his shift in the missions room was over, or we would arrange for poker night with Asuma and the others. I'd sneak him information about his friends' missions; he'd buy me _Icha Icha_ volumes for my birthday (though he always destroyed the receipts so it could never be traced back to him). We were comfortable around each other, and that was fine.

Then we decided to take things up a notch, and eventually started dating. That's when I first noticed that he had the potential to become a weakness, so I sat down one day and thought about it long and slow. Yes, he was nice, and so patient, and looked so cute when he blushed. Yes, I enjoyed the dates and the dinners and the quick goodnight kisses on each other's doorsteps. But when it came down to it, was it him or Konoha?

At the time, the decision was easy. Iruka was now, but Konoha was forever. If the need arose, I could let him go. He was not my weakness, and so I let it continue.

Then we became lovers. I'm still not sure whose fault it was: I was drunk and he was horny, so I think we both shared part of the blame. Either way, we ended up in his bed that night.

It seemed okay at first. We met up and dated as always; we just occasionally screwed too when we felt like it. I even eventually let him move in with me because I never spent much time in my apartment anyway, and we could split the rent. Everything was okay. I told myself it was still Konoha over him.

Eventually, though, I began to notice the signs. I would worry about him through sleepless nights whenever he got back from one of his rare missions late. When he got injured, I fought my way into the hospital—something I had never done before. My visits to the memorial stone became less frequent, as I spent the majority of my mornings just watching him as he slept. Whenever he smiled at me, my entire body swelled with warmth.

I became infatuated with him as I fell completely, helplessly in love.

I told myself that was okay. Shinobi fell in love all the time; we're human too, after all. But it began to get out of hand. I held him just a little too tightly at night. I got just a little too threatening to anyone who was too friendly with him. I became just a little too worried whenever he went on missions.

It was time to sit down and think about this again, and so I did. And what I found surprised me. It was no longer Konoha first, not anymore. If it was Iruka's life, if someone had a kunai to Iruka's throat and would trade his safety for Konoha's secrets, I would tell everything I knew about my village. If it came down to a choice between Konoha and Iruka, I would abandon my village and choose my lover.

It scared me, when I saw that that was the decision I had made. I was a jounin, and a good one at that; I was supposed to be calm, sensible, and fiercely loyal to my village. I wasn't supposed to be willing to sacrifice it just to save one person.

But the truth was that Iruka bested Konoha now. Iruka was my only weakness.

And that's why he had to die.

I think he understood what I was about to do, when I took him gently by the hand, led him into our bedroom, closed the door, and slowly drew a kunai. I could see it in his eyes: the light, the soft realization, the acceptance. I knew he had already forgiven me for what I was about to do.

I didn't move at first, and for a moment we stood there in silence, quietly watching each other from opposite ends of the room. Then Iruka spoke.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did," he said.

When I spoke, my voice was strangely hoarse. "It's not your fault."

Iruka walked slowly forward then, never taking his eyes off me as he wrapped his arms about my shoulders and pulled me close, leaving just a few inches of space between us. One hand slid down my arm and gently took my wrist, guiding the kunai slowly up so that it was pointed right at the middle of his ribcage, where his heart was.

"Just please," he whispered, his breath ghosting over my ear and just barely audible over the pounding of my heart, "Don't tell Naruto."

Then he was silent, resting his head against my shoulder, waiting. His breaths came out even and slow, as if he had fallen asleep, though I knew he was awake. Just waiting.

My entire body was trembling and I found it hard to breathe. For a brief moment I had an idea—an idea to pull back, to take his hand and run away from here, as far away as possible, to a place where having weaknesses was okay, where everything was okay.

But I knew, he knew that no such place existed. When we became ninja, we knew the dangers of having a weakness. We knew that the only way to deal with a weakness was to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Sucking in a breath and squeezing my eyes shut, I flicked my wrist and drove the kunai in to the hilt.

He gasped, his entire body stiffening for a moment. I felt the hands on my shoulders spasm once before slowly weakening, sliding limply off as he stumbled one step back. I saw his eyes looking at me for a brief moment, bright and forgiving, before the light faded from them. They lost focus and he slumped to the floor, letting out one final breath before going completely still.

There was silence in the room, complete cruel silence for several moments before I realized I had been holding my breath and let it out in a soft _whoosh._ I stood there for a long time, taking deep breaths, carefully watching the opposite wall and pointedly avoiding the body on the floor.

It was done. My weakness had been destroyed; I was impervious once again. Like the shinobi that I was, I had chosen my country in the end. I had let Iruka go.

Iruka.

I finally looked down, and suddenly my legs couldn't seem to support me anymore and I collapsed to my knees. It was okay though. Just a little regret, but it would go away. Everything would go away very soon, I told myself as I looked at him, looked at the kunai sticking out of his chest, looked at the blood that had soaked into his shirt, looked at his blank, dead eyes staring back at me.

Everything would be okay. I could live on without Iruka. It would hurt at first, but I would get through it. I would get used to living alone, to not meeting Iruka every night for dinner, to not waking up to find him cuddled up next to me, to not sharing late nights full of passion and endless love with him.

I would get through it. It would all be okay. Everything was okay. Really.

It was at that moment that I realized I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.

My body began to shake again, and I crawled slowly across the floor toward him. Reaching forward, I touched his arm, then his hair, and finally gathered him to me, kissing him gently, closing my eyes so that I wouldn't have to look into his, so empty and dead.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as the tears began to flow. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

But it was too late. And I finally knew.

My weakness wasn't Iruka; it had never been Iruka. My weakness was losing him, and now I was broken.

* * *

Now here I am on this warm spring day, a day I usually love but now I have no love left. They are all staring at me: Genma who will be overseeing the execution, the ANBU guards surrounding the gallows, the shinobi lined up in neat military rows in the large square, the crowd of civilians behind them. They are all watching me, watching as I walk slowly up the wooden steps, flanked by two ANBU guards, my hands bound in front of me.

My mask is gone; Tsunade had offered to let me keep it, but I told her it was all right. I'd already lost everything when Iruka died—when I killed him, and now I have nothing left.

I reach the large wooden platform and without hesitation walk slowly forward so that I am standing just behind the small trapdoor. One of the ANBU guards moves to join the rest, while the other takes the noose and slowly places it over my head.

Genma steps forward. "Hatake Kakashi," he says. His voice is hard, commanding and loud, but his eyes are red and he is holding his senbon in his hand, unable to keep it steady in his mouth. "You have been condemned to die by hanging on this date, sentence passed by a jury of your peers and confirmed by the Hokage of Konoha, for the murder of Umino Iruka. Do you have any last words or requests before your sentence is carried out?"

I look up, and there are Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura standing at the front of the crowd. Naruto is glaring at me, his blue eyes glittering with pure hatred and tears streaming down his cheeks as his entire body trembles. He tried to break into my prison cell once to kill me, but the ANBU guards stopped his progress before he could get very far. I almost wish they hadn't, though. I would have willingly let him beat me to death for what I did.

Naruto's fists are clenched so hard that his palms are bleeding, and suddenly he steps forward and yells at the top of his lungs, "I hope you burn in hell, you bastard!"

Then he collapses into a sobbing heap as Sakura hugs him gently and even Sasuke places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

I turn to Genma, who is watching me quietly. "Last words?" he repeats, voice soft now and close to cracking.

Very slowly, I shake my head. "No," I whisper, my voice barely audible in the breeze, but Genma hears me and nods his head.

Turning to the ANBU who is standing at the lever that operates the trapdoor, he says, "We are ready."

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I take one step forward onto the closed trapdoor, then another so that both of my feet are planted neatly at the center of the little wooden square. Another ANBU tightens the noose around my neck, and I look up at the endless, hopeful blue sky.

No more weaknesses, Iruka. Everything ends here. I'll be seeing you soon.

"See you around, Kakashi," Genma whispers, and gives the order.

The trapdoor opens, and I fall.

* * *

**A/N: **Kakashi has some really fucked-up reasoning, doesn't he? 


	9. Dogs

**A/N: **Just a little humorous drabble this time around. Next entry will be longer.

* * *

**Title: **Dogs

**Themes: **#24 – Pets.

* * *

"Kakashi?"

"Yes, Iruka?"

"You know how you have nine nin-dog summons?"

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering. Have you ever tried having them around the house? Like pets, you know?"

"Oh. Sure I have."

"All nine?"

"Yep. When I was a teenager. Got bored living alone."

"Oh."

"They were fun at first."

"At first?"

"Yeah. I'd take them out on long morning walks—or runs, more like it. When I bathed them I did it all at the same time, so the apartment got messy but it was awfully fun. And I didn't even have to use blankets anymore 'cause they all slept in my bed with me at night."

"Sounds nice."

"It was."

"So what made you stop?"

"Well, there was this one time when one of them got fleas—"

"Point taken. Never mind."


	10. Open Window

**A/N: **School. Bleh.

Much of this entry is probably going to be rather boring. Stick with it, though, because the ending is worth it in my opinion.

Will update some other things eventually. Too tired to do anything more than this right now though. Enjoy.

**Title: **Open Window

**Themes: **#2 – School; #3 – House; #13 – True love; #23 – Midnight.

At 5:00 AM, Umino Iruka's alarm clock rings, sharp and shrill in the coolness of morning. The chuunin sleepily reaches up a hand and slaps the device, quieting it.

At 5:05 AM, he is finally fully awake and slides out of bed, stretching a bit, maybe wincing a little as he walks across the room to close the open window.

At 5:08 AM, he sits down for a quick breakfast, usually bread and milk, because he really doesn't have time for anything else.

By 5:15 AM, he is dressed and ready for work. He gathers his bag and whatever papers he needs for the day and heads out of his apartment, traversing rooftops, headed for the academy.

At 5:27 AM, he walks into the teachers' lounge to greet the other teachers. They sit down and prepare to begin their daily conference as Iruka pours himself a cup of dark coffee. Sipping it, he leads them through the conference. The purpose of today's meeting is who gets assigned to teach the beginners' kunai class. Suzume draws the short straw.

At exactly 6:00 AM, the meeting ends. Iruka spends some time in the lounge making light conversation with his fellow teachers, finishing his third cup of coffee, going over the day's lecture notes, and comforting Suzume. The worst the little brats can do is take out an eye, after all, and Iruka actually thinks that certain one-eyed people can be sexy. Though he doesn't say that out loud.

At 6:20 AM, he bids farewell to the other teachers and heads to his classroom. He arranges desks, writes notes on the blackboard, gets another cup of coffee, and prepares to start his day.

At 6:45 AM, his first student comes in. It is Udon, whose mother always insists he come early with any questions on his homework so that he can ask Iruka while he isn't busy. Iruka sits down with him and quietly goes over the problems he couldn't answer.

At 6:55 AM, his more punctual students begin pouring in. Iruka smiles at Udon, pats him on the shoulder and says he's improving, and returns to his desk to properly greet his class when they are all assembled.

At 7:00 AM, class begins. Iruka bids the children good morning and goes over the previous night's homework, while ordering Moegi to collect essays.

At 7:18 AM, Konohamaru finally shows up. Iruka immediately gives him detention.

At 7:37 AM, he begins the day's lesson. Today's subject is tactical strategies and an introduction to critical survival skills.

At 10:15 AM, the bell rings and the kids storm out of the room to the playground for break. As soon as the last child is out the door, Iruka jumps up and _runs_ to the bathroom, because downing four cups of coffee in less than two hours is bound to have some nasty side-effects on his bladder.

At 10:19 AM, he is back in his classroom, patiently waiting for his students to return. He begins wondering where Team Seven is at the moment, and what they are doing. Then he catches himself daydreaming about one particular member and immediately shakes his head, blushing slightly as he tries to focus on other things.

At 10:25 AM, his classroom is once again full of little future-nin and Iruka continues his lecture.

At 11:07, 11:09, and 11:13 AM, Konohamaru tries to sneak out during class. He fails every time.

At 12:03 PM, Iruka is in an unusually good mood, so he dismisses his class early for lunch. The children cheer and are gone in less than ten seconds. Iruka smiles and heads to the teachers' lounge to eat his own lunch.

At 12:07 PM, he discovers something in his bento box that isn't supposed to be there: a note. Its contents are very simple: "Got you something sweet." It is lying on top of a box of Pocky, which also isn't supposed to be there. Iruka grins.

At 12:45 PM, his class comes in from lunch, breathless and dirty and happy. Iruka himself is feeling very cheerful, so he postpones the pop quiz he was going to give them and instead takes his class out to have them practice kunai throwing with Suzume's beginner class.

At 1:38 PM, he brings his kids back inside, ignoring the killing intent Suzume is shooting at his back. He continues the morning's lecture.

At 2:57 PM, he once again dismisses his class early, telling them to have a good day. For the next half-hour or so, he works patiently and personally with those students who have questions from the day's lesson.

At 3:48 PM, he finally finishes erasing the board and cleaning up his classroom. He empties the wastebasket, waters the plant in the corner, collects his things, and heads into the teachers' lounge to sign out. He thinks briefly about staying and chatting with some of his colleagues, but then Suzume enters and immediately starts for him, fire blazing in her eyes. He excuses himself as quickly as possible and bamphs away before she can reach him.

At 3:55 PM, he stops by the marketplace to do some grocery shopping. That done, he heads home to relax a bit and get some grading done.

At 6:15 PM, he decides it's about time to get going and heads in the direction of Ichiraku's.

At 6:23 PM, he arrives at the ramen stand and sees that Naruto is already there. The blond boy greets him with his usual hug and they sit and eat for roughly an hour, Iruka listening patiently as Naruto relates everything that happened that day. The boy tells of how beautiful Sakura looked, and how dumb and clumsy Sasuke acted, and how lazy Kakashi-sensei was, just sitting around reading that stupid book of his, and how it was up to him, future Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, to complete their mission and save all their pathetic little asses from the killer insects in the garden they were weeding.

At 7:36 PM, Iruka pays the bill—he's going to have to ration himself for the rest of the week again—and bids farewell to Naruto. He heads home and can only pray that, if he works nonstop for the next few hours, he can get those essays graded to hand back tomorrow.

By 11:23 PM, he has succeeded. Mentally patting himself on the back, he puts the essays away, then heads to his bedroom. He showers, dresses, makes sure his bedroom window is closed but not locked, and goes to bed.

At exactly midnight, he is awakened by the presence of someone else's chakra. At first he is worried, but then he recognizes the pattern and immediately relaxes, turning toward the window. It's open, and sitting quietly on the sill is a silver-haired wraith, watching him as if silently asking permission to come inside. Iruka smiles. The apparition crosses the floor to him and then ceases to be ephemeral, becoming instead solid and all hot kisses and roaming hands that know just where to touch to drive Iruka mad with pleasure. And for the next few hours, Hatake Kakashi and Umino Iruka make love with all the passion of two desperate lovers who haven't met for a lifetime, though it's only been a day.

At 2:36 AM, they lie together amidst the rumpled covers of Iruka's bed, gasping for breath and clinging to each other, neither feeling much like moving in that pleasant numbness that always follows sex. Kakashi presses a tired kiss to Iruka's forehead and whispers, "I love you." Iruka smiles and repeats it back to him, and thinks to himself that, though true love may not really exist, this is about as close as he'll ever get to it.

At 2:43 AM, the chuunin gives a tired sigh, closes his eyes, and falls asleep in the warm protective circle that is his lover's strong arms.

At 3:00 AM, Kakashi slowly gets out of bed, careful not to disturb Iruka. He heads into the bathroom, wets a towel, and cleans both himself and his lover. Then he dresses in the darkness of the bedroom, brushing a soft kiss over Iruka's temple and getting a sleepy nuzzle in response as he pulls up his mask. Then he is at the window, climbing onto the sill and, like the ghost that he is, disappears as quietly as he came.

At 5:00 AM, the alarm clock rings and Iruka sleepily turns it off. He waits a moment, then gets out of bed, winces because he is slightly sore, closes the open window, and starts over.


	11. Miracles

**A/N: **I'm not sure what to make of this, so I guess I'll leave it up to you. Angst, angst and more angst. Savvy?

I think I'm starting to develop a tolerance to KakaIru. Or that could just be the fact that Saiyuki (and Gojyo x Hakkai) has taken over my life, and my yaoi-addled brain can only handle one pairing at a time. Who knows?

Enjoy.

* * *

**Title: **Miracles

**Themes: **#15 – Depression; #28 – Believe; #44 – Twilight.

* * *

Iruka always tells Kakashi to keep believing. Miracles happen, he says. When Yondaime sealed Kyuubi inside Naruto and saved the village. When Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura survived their encounter with Zabuza and Haku. When Sound's invasion of Konoha during the Chuunin Exams was effectively halted.

Kakashi doesn't believe him. He's seen too much blood, death and cruelty to believe in anything as superficial as a miracle. He quietly chides Iruka, telling him that it wasn't a miracle, just luck. Luck, or strategy, or a hell of a lot of killing, or perhaps all three. But there is no such thing as a miracle.

And now that Kakashi has been missing for four days, Iruka doesn't know what to believe. He wants to believe that his lover is alive, but looking up at the dark, dismal underground bunker before him, he's not so sure. He wants to believe that Kakashi is inside that building, but all the search party has to go on is an old scent and a hunch.

The signal is given, and like silent, invisible wraiths, the Leaf ninja descend into the bunker, shooting through dark hallways, searching. Iruka is the first to find the small, dark chamber with the familiar figure stretched limply out on the bare table. Kakashi is alive, though barely conscious, and the table is covered with his blood. When Iruka sees the two bloody sockets that are all that remain of his lover's eyes, he begins to cry.

Kakashi makes a speedy recovery, though he is never the same. For the next few weeks, Iruka takes personal leave from his job at the academy to take care of his lover. He guides Kakashi around the house, cooks him meals, bathes him because he can't find the bathroom without help, and replaces or mends all the objects he breaks because he couldn't see them. He painstakingly translates the first volume of _Icha Icha_ into Braille, and holds off Team Seven's attempts to visit their sensei, because right now Kakashi doesn't want them to see how weak he's become.

And when Kakashi finally realizes that he'll never be a fully-functioning ninja again and breaks, Iruka holds him gently in his arms, quietly whispering words of comfort as his lover's body shakes with dry sobs, because Kakashi can no longer cry.

Iruka prays for a miracle, though he finds that his belief is beginning to fade.

Three weeks later, Iruka is given a mission to steal a scroll from Sound. He does so, but is mortally wounded in escaping. He collapses half a mile west of Konoha's gates, and whispers one final request to the ANBU who finds him first. If a miracle won't come to him and Kakashi, he'll just have to make one himself.

A few days after the funeral, Kakashi walks slowly up to the memorial stone, gazing on the freshly-carved name with eyes that are not his own. He believes now, he whispers quietly, finding it difficult to breathe. He _believes_.

The twilight sky does not answer him. Twilight. The end of Iruka, the beginning of Kakashi.

And as Kakashi cries, Iruka cries too.


	12. Behind the Counter

**A/N: **I'm rather fond of this entry; it's a new writing style that I've never worked with, and I think it turned out pretty well. How well is, of course, up to you to judge.

* * *

**Title: **Behind the Counter

**Themes: **#5 – Store; #21 – Library; #33 – Success.

* * *

Many of Hitomi Benjiro's friends and family often asked him why he didn't retire; after all, the man was already almost seventy years old. He always answered that he loved his job too much to leave it.

And love it he did. Benjiro owned Hidden Leaf village's oldest and best bookstore. It wasn't much to look at, really: a plain storefront with a sign that read, "Hitomi Books." The inside was just as simple: shelf upon shelf of books placed in neat rows, and a worn counter in the back where he performed his transactions with customers.

But there was one thing Hitomi Books was famous for: its impressive collection of literature. Be it jutsu books, history texts, cookbooks, Bingo Books—even a sealed scroll or two—Hitomi Books was sure to have it. And for that reason, if not that reason alone, Benjiro's small bookstore attracted all sorts of customers.

There was quite possibly only one other enterprise that could compete with Hitomi Books in terms of supply, and that was the Konoha Public Library. The senior librarian there was none other than one Fumi-san, a pleasantly plump old lady of sixty-seven, the number-one source to go to for any information one might be looking for that wasn't classified, mother of two and grandmother of five, and Hitomi Benjiro's cheerful wife.

Benjiro and Fumi were not ninja. They had been born after Shodaime, Nidaime and the birth of Konoha, but before the devastating wars during Sandaime and Yondaime. Thus, they were about as civilian as anyone could get: they babysitted their grandchildren when their parents had to go off on missions, they cheerfully conducted their business during the day, bought groceries, gossiped, and cleaned house.

However, that did not mean that the merry old couple did not have their own special gifts. Both Benjiro and Fumi had a keen eye for observation, and nothing and no one passed through their stores without catching their gaze. And thus it was that, one cool autumn evening, while reading the daily newspaper at the dining table, Benjiro raised his head and said, "Hatake-san came in again today. Isn't it strange that he's always late for everything except the latest volume of _Icha Icha_?"

Fumi didn't look up from the vegetables she was currently slicing for the soup. "Well, you can't blame the lad," she said. "It must be dull having to do nothing but watch those genin of his all day. Besides, for someone like him who's gotten so used to S-rank missions, these D-rank and C-rank things must be quite boring."

Benjiro shrugged. "Well, if I were him, I'd be grateful," he said. "After all, D-rank and C-rank missions aren't nearly as life-threatening as the ones he used to take. Remember those months right after Sakumo-san died? I thought the kid would work himself to death."

"Mm, I suppose you're right," Fumi said, and paused for a moment before smiling. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Umino-san came in today."

"Really?"

"Yes," Fumi said. "I haven't seen that kid since his genin days, I think. I remember all he used to check out were books on pranks."

"He's a teacher at the academy now, isn't he?" Benjiro asked.

"I think so," Fumi answered. "Borrowed a textbook on elementary kunai-throwing methods, anyway. He shot up like a weed, he did; a head taller than you, at least. And he's grown amazingly polite, not the brash young lad I remember."

"Well, people change as they grow," Benjiro said, and went back to his newspaper.

About a week later, Benjiro came home from work chuckling. At Fumi's questioning glance, he grinned and said, "It's Hatake-san. He must be having problems with his kids."

"Why's that?"

"Well, he came in today looking for a book on how to…let me see, how did he put it? 'Deal with hyperactivity without resorting to drugs, cure a little girl of an unhealthy obsession with someone she can't get, and pull an icicle out of an angsty loner's ass.' Naturally, I wasn't much help to him, but it was amusing all the same."

Fumi cocked an eyebrow. "You think that's funny?" she said. "Umino-san came in yesterday and checked out all my books on rationing. It was like he was preparing for a famine, or a war. I'll bet he's been treating that Naruto to ramen again." And they shared a laugh.

About a month and a half later, Fumi said during dinner, "You know, I find Umino-san rather strange. He came today looking for a book on blushing and how to prevent it."

"Is that so?" Benjiro said, reaching for some sushi. "Well, that's not as strange as Hatake-san buying _101 Bad Pickup Lines._"

The day after the Chuunin Exam nominations, Fumi asked Benjiro, "Do you have any books on apologies? Umino-san was looking for one today."

Benjiro shook his head before frowning. "Funny. Hatake-san came in today looking for the same thing."

Some time later, following the chaos of the Chuunin Exams, the Sound invasion of Konoha, Sandaime's funeral, and the reconstruction of the village, Benjiro came home from his first day of reopening his store with a smile on his face. "I think things are finally looking up for that Hatake kid," he said.

"Oh? Why's that?" Fumi asked.

"He bought _Dating for Dummies._ He was especially interested in the chapter concerned with asking a particular person out, but he wouldn't tell me who it was."

"Well, he has to come out of that shell someday," Fumi said.

The following week: "Hatake-san returned _Dating for Dummies_ today. He said his mission was a success."

"Umino-san didn't show up today."

A month later, Benjiro came home scratching his head. "Y'know, I think today was the first time Hatake-san's ever gone to the adult section of the store without looking for _Icha Icha_," he said.

"You mean he's finally moved on to another series?" Fumi asked, blinking in surprise.

"No," Benjiro replied. "He was looking up general books on sex. How to initiate it, and different methods. I'm a little apprehensive of what he might have in mind."

"How coincidental," Fumi said. "Umino-san checked out my only book on ways to kick a lover out of your bedroom. Seems like whoever he's seeing is a little too persistent for his tastes."

After a week, Fumi came home late with a large get-well card. "It's for Hatake-san," she said. "Umino-san brought it in today. He says Hatake-san is in a coma at the hospital; I think it had something to do with that Uchiha Itachi boy. He asked us to sign it."

"I guess that explains why I haven't seen Hatake-san in a while," Benjiro said, reaching for a pen.

A short while after the coronation of Tsunade, Godaime Hokage, Benjiro came home to see Fumi carefully hand-copying a new library card application, a habit she had developed a long time ago. Bending closer, Benjiro blinked when he saw the name. "Wow, Umino-san moved? It's rare for a ninja to change apartments."

Fumi nodded without looking up. "He says he's moving in with his significant other. I'm proud of the boy; he's finally getting somewhere."

"Looks like the jounin housing complex," Benjiro said. "His girlfriend must be a pretty powerful ninja."

"Ah, I think it's his boyfriend," Fumi said. "After all, he did say it was 'his apartment.'"

"Really?" Benjiro said, and smiled. "Well, whatever works for the kid."

Roughly three months later, Fumi burst through the door of the house, breathless. Immediately Benjiro was on his feet, helping his wife into a chair and handing her a cup of water. Only after she had caught her breath was Fumi able to speak.

"I'm so excited!" she cried.

"What happened?" Benjiro asked.

"It's Umino-san!" Fumi said. "He came in today and checked out a book on wedding proposals!"

Benjiro whistled. "So he's serious, huh?" he said, and smiled. "Well, I'm happy for the kid. His luck's turning around for a change."

Fumi beamed. "He sort of blushed and stuttered his way out when I asked him who it was," she said, "but I expect we'll be finding out soon enough." She paused before looking up at Benjiro. "What about Hatake-san? Seen him recently?"

"Didn't come in today."

Some months later, Benjiro and Fumi received a fancy embroidered envelope in the mail. Inside was a decorative card:

_UMINO IRUKA_

_and_

_HATAKE KAKASHI_

_request the honor of your presence_

_at their marriage ceremony_

For a long moment, Benjiro and Fumi just stared at the invitation. Then, very slowly, Benjiro smiled. "Well, that explains a lot," he said, and gave his wife a hug.


	13. Boys

**A/N: **Life has been busy lately, let that suffice to explain why it took me so long to update.

Just a short little drabble-esque thing for you today. Nothing else to say about it. Enjoy.

* * *

**Title: **Boys

**Themes: **#9 – Siblings; #35 – Non-stop fighting; #36 – Teasing.

* * *

Haruno Sakura looked to the left.

"Usuratonkachi."

"Teme!"

"You suck at everything. Even in bed."

"Oh, yeah? Who's the one who's always screaming 'harder' and 'more?'"

"Whatever."

"Just shut up, Sasuke!"

Haruno Sakura looked to the right.

"Damnit, Kakashi, if you grope me again I'll kick your ass!"

"Maa, it wasn't a grope, Ruka darling. I was merely making sure—"

"_It was a goddamn grope!_"

"—that your pants were on correctly."

"You did it in front of the _kids_ too!"

"Well, it's not like they're paying much attention to us anyway."

Haruno Sakura looked back to the left.

"You're pathetic, dobe."

"_What?_"

"Pathetic. Meaning pitifully inferior and inadequate."

"I know what it means, teme! You wanna fight?"

"It'd be a waste of my time and energy, both of which I should be expending in order to find and kill my brother."

"Screw your brother!"

"I'd rather not."

Haruno Sakura looked back to the right.

"Iruka, can I please have my book back?"

"No! I can't believe you read this shit in front of the kids! Do you _know_ what'll happen if their parents find out? 'Iruka-sensei's boyfriend is a pervert!' That's what they'll say!"

"Now, now, I think that's overdoing it—"

"I'll get fired!"

"I really don't think—ahh! Hey! Put that explosive tag down and step away from the porn _right now!_"

"Nice try, Kaka—_ack!_"

"Give it back!"

"No!"

"Gimme!"

Haruno Sakura rolled her eyes. "Boys," she said, and went back to cleaning her nails.


	14. Poetry

**A/N: **I hope I didn't bomb my Celtic Studies final today. (And I really hope I can pull through in my Classical Mythology final tomorrow…)

The title of this baby should speak for itself. Frikin FFN and its weird formats; just pretend that after every three lines, there's a break (except for Kakashi's comments). They're supposed to be verses, so yeah. Update again soon, I promise.

* * *

**Title: **Poetry

**Themes: **#48 – Poem.

* * *

In the margin of a crumpled-up mission report:

_Iruka is my uke._

_He's really rather fast._

_Iruka possesses Konoha's most enticing ass._

_Iruka loves his students_

_But I'll bet he loves me more._

_After all, he hasn't yet kicked me out the door._

_(and that's saying something)_

_I like to make him blush_

_But he always yells at me._

_Last time he even withheld sex for more than a week._

_(I still haven't forgiven you for that)_

_But though my Ruka's crazy_

_And screams at me all the time,_

_I'm really very grateful that I can call him mine._

_Love, Kakashi_

On the back of a student's graded homework paper:

_Kakashi is rather thick_

_And he really likes to tease._

_Kakashi is way too interested in the birds and the bees._

_Kakashi is a pervert._

_He's also quite a jerk._

_He often likes to pester me when I'm trying to work._

_He walks around all day_

_Reading Jiraiya-sama's porn._

_He must've been dropped on his head shortly after being born._

_But though my Kashi's twisted_

_And more than a little insane,_

_I'm really quite positive that I love him all the same._

_(The next time you pull something like that in the mission room with Genma and Raidou looking over my shoulder, I'll kill you.)_

_Love, Iruka_


	15. The Secret Room

**A/N: **Well, after the silliness that pervaded the last couple of entries, it's back to the angst. But at least it's happy angst (if that's even possible)!

Summer school lets out in about three weeks. I should start updating more often when that happens. Again, it depends on whether or not I get a PS2 (and thus suck away my social life) and how good my memory is.

This chapter does contain spoilers for Kakashi's past, especially concerning his father.

* * *

**Title: **The Secret Room

**Themes: **#31 – Haunting; #51 – Secrets.

* * *

Over the years, it had become known to Iruka as simply the Room. And that's what it was, really, as far as Iruka could tell: a rather small bonus room, probably meant to be a bedroom, not much different from all the other rooms in Kakashi's apartment. Except for one little thing: it was the one room in the jounin's apartment that was forbidden to all visitors, Iruka included.

Iruka hadn't meant to discover the Room when he did, actually. Kakashi had invited him over shortly after he was assigned to be Team Seven's jounin sensei because he felt he needed to know more about his genin, and who better to ask for information than their old teacher? Iruka had agreed, of course, but halfway through the visit had felt the need to go to the bathroom. Kakashi informed him that the bathroom was "the door just down the hall. You can't miss it."

But apparently Iruka could, because when he opened the door at the end of the hallway, it wasn't the bathroom. He got only a quick glimpse of a large black shape in the darkness of the room before Kakashi was there, slamming the door shut and telling him in no considerate terms to leave. Confused and more than a little offended, Iruka had done so, and more than a week had passed before Kakashi cared to exchange even a word or a passing glance with him.

Several months later, the incident had been pretty much forgotten and they started dating. One night, Kakashi once again invited Iruka to his apartment for dinner, and the chuunin, being of a markedly prudent nature, showed up five minutes early. He got just a glimpse of the open door to the room at the end of the hallway before Kakashi closed it and came to greet him. Iruka pretended he hadn't seen.

It became the Room after that, Kakashi's one secret that Iruka couldn't figure out. Was it a seal room? A room where he kept all his jutsu scrolls? His porn library, perhaps?

Asking the other ninja proved fruitless as well. Hardly anyone had ever heard of the room, much less been to Kakashi's apartment to see it. And of the few who had, their curiosity wasn't worth Kakashi's retaliation. He had kicked Gai out the window with a flaming explosive tag attached to his vest, and had pinned Asuma to the wall with kunai. Iruka considered himself lucky.

Now almost two years had passed; Sasuke had abandoned Konoha, Naruto had gone off to train with Jiraiya, and Sakura was apprenticed to Tsunade. Kakashi was back to doing his S-rank missions, but set aside as much time as he could for Iruka, now his lover. The Room was still the Room: mysterious, secretive, locked. And Iruka felt his curiosity growing.

So when Kakashi suggested one evening that Iruka move in with him, the chuunin seized upon the opportunity and proposed he move into the room at the end of the hallway.

"What?" Kakashi said.

Iruka blinked. "Well, you don't seem to use it much," he said, "and it seems like a good size for a bedroom. What's in there anyway?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "That room is off-limits."

"Why?" Iruka asked.

"That's none of your business."

"Kakashi, I don't—"

"I said it's off-limits! Damnit, are you deaf?" Kakashi snapped.

Iruka stared at him for a long time. Then he nodded very slowly, got up and headed for the door. "Fine," he said.

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked.

"Mission tomorrow," Iruka said. "I'll be back in a couple of days. Take the time and grow up a little." And he walked out.

Except Iruka didn't come back in a couple of days. More than a week passed before his teammates finally showed up at Konoha's gates, bloody and bruised, with Iruka's body slumped limply over their shoulders. They had been ambushed near Stone, they said, and in the ensuing battle Iruka had been hit almost directly with a powerful earth jutsu. They didn't know how bad it was, and could somebody please hurry the hell up and find Tsunade already?

It wasn't until three weeks later that Iruka was allowed to leave the hospital. To his surprise, Kakashi, who had avoided him pretty much the whole time (though Iruka swore he could feel the jounin's presence at night while he was sleeping), showed up to take him back. Iruka made no protest, too relieved to argue, too jaded to care.

As soon as they stepped through the door of Kakashi's apartment, however, Iruka knew something was different. The door to the Room was wide open, and Kakashi made no move to close it.

For a long moment, neither man said a thing. Then Kakashi cleared his throat and said, "Uh, I thought about it a little, and I figured you deserved to know." Though he spoke slowly, there was no way to conceal the nervous tremor in his voice.

"You don't have to do this," Iruka said.

"I know," Kakashi said. "But I want to. So…" He took a deep breath. "Go on. Have a look." And so Iruka did, walking slowly down the hallway and entering the forbidden room.

What he saw surprised him, more because it didn't fit any of the hypotheses he had come up with as to the contents of the room. There were no forbidden scrolls, no porn magazines lined up on bookshelves, no seals on the floor.

In fact, the room was empty save for one spot at the middle of the far wall, where the same dark shape Iruka had seen two years ago loomed before him. Then Kakashi flicked a switch on the wall and the entire room was instantly bathed in light, and suddenly Iruka saw.

It was a shrine, rather large and evidently having been constructed a long time ago, yet it had been well-cared for over the years and showed hardly any hints of wear. Candles and incense surrounded a blank, unfurled scroll, on top of which sat a broken tanto—bladeless, because its wielder had used white chakra and not steel to cut down his enemies. Above the tanto, on a second tier, stood a carefully-framed photograph, slightly yellowed with age. A face that for a moment startled Iruka, but his memory almost instantly clicked and he knew who it was.

When Iruka spoke, his voice was soft. "That's your father, isn't it?" he asked.

Kakashi didn't answer right away. Iruka turned slowly and saw that the jounin was standing just inside the doorway, shoulders slumped, head drooped to look down at the floor. When Kakashi finally spoke, his voice was tiny, broken, like a scared child's. "Please don't laugh at me," he whispered.

"Kakashi, why would I laugh at you?" Iruka asked. "It's only proper to honor your father like this. He was a hero, after all."

Very slowly, the jounin shook his head. "No," he said. "He was a traitor and a failure. Everyone hated him after that mission. They _hated_ him. And I hate him too, but—but I just can't let him go. I cling to him, l-like some damn little kid."

"Kakashi…"

"It's not right," Kakashi said. "It makes me weak, and I hate myself for it. That's why I don't let anyone see this room, because they'll laugh at me, or even worse…they'll hate me too. They always say I look just like him. His face haunts me; every time I look in the mirror, he's there."

"Kakashi." Iruka sighed. "Do you remember my tea set? The old one with the crack in one of the cups?" When Kakashi nodded, Iruka closed his eyes. "That belonged to Egami Chuichi. We were best friends during our academy days."

Kakashi blinked. "Egami Chuichi? The missing-nin?"

"And you know that kunai that's stuck next to the bathroom door? The one that you always want to pull out but I never let you? Mizuki was trying to kill a fly."

"Iruka—"

"So you see, Kakashi," Iruka said, turning away from the shrine to face his lover, "When it comes to the people we love, it doesn't matter what they are to other people. It only matters what they are to us. And no one's going to laugh at you or hate you for loving your father."

Kakashi looked up. "So…you won't leave me, right? Because of this?" he said.

Iruka blinked, then laughed. "I wouldn't leave you if you had a shrine to Orochimaru in here," he said, and paused. "Well, on second thought, if it went _that_ far then I might leave you. I'd have to give it some thought though. Pros and cons and all that."

Kakashi smiled at that. "Good," the jounin said, "Because otherwise I would've wasted my last paycheck."

Iruka blinked. "What do you mean?"

In answer, Kakashi reached into his pocket, pulled out a small velvet box, and opened it. Iruka could only stare at the golden ring inside. "Well, that room wasn't the only thing I thought about while you were in the hospital, and I figured since you now have my biggest secret, you can have everything else too," Kakashi said, taking a breath. "So…Iruka, will you marry me?"

Iruka gaped. And froze up. And thought. And then he finally remembered to breathe, and smiled.

A few hours later, when they were curled up in the warmth of Kakashi's bed with the jounin's head nestled on his shoulder, Kakashi's soft, even breaths tickling his neck, Iruka took a moment to peer at the ring on his finger, glinting in the dark. Then he looked toward the Room, the door to which was still open, and smiled.

_Thank you_, he thought. _Thank you for giving him to me._ And he knew that, somewhere out there, Hatake Sakumo was smiling.


	16. Death Is

**A/N: **Summer school is finally done. Hopefully that means more updates, but seeing as I haven't yet completed all the themes (I think I have just two more to go, and it's been that way for the past few months), I'll probably slow down so that I don't end up leaving you hanging.

Either way. I'd originally intended to submit this fic as my entry to the KakaIru deathfic contest, but one of the rules for the contest was that it has to be a work written specifically for the contest itself. So I ended up writing another one (it's on my LJ if you're interested), and here I am posting this one.

About the fic specifically. It…almost made me cry. And I wrote the damn thing. So yeah. Make sure you have tissues handy.

Until my next update, then.

* * *

**Title: **Death Is

**Themes: **#22 – Death; #26 – Fate; #46 – Illness.

* * *

To Kakashi, death does not have a smell.

Many a shinobi will claim that they "smelled death" at some point in their lives. They will describe the coppery scent of blood, the stench of decay, the stink of rotting bodies. But it's just that: blood, decay, rot. People in their haste mix all these smells together and call that the smell of death, but death does not have a true smell.

Here, in this pristine white hospital room, there are no smells. Yet death is there, hovering, just waiting to dive in and claim its victim.

To Kakashi, death is a sound. It is the sound of complete, utter silence. It is the sound of people holding their breaths, of men and women who normally appear strong now struggling not to break down and cry. It is the sound of a fate that no one can avoid, that comes for some people sooner than for others. It is the sound of utter despair.

It is quiet in the room now. Some people are watching the screens; others are watching Kakashi. Most are watching Iruka. Kakashi is watching him too.

The silence is oppressive. Genma's lips are shaking and his senbon drops to the hard floor with a sharp _clink._ Several of the people present—most of them shinobi—jump at the sound.

"S-Sorry," Genma mumbles, and doesn't bother to retrieve the senbon. No one answers him.

To Kakashi, death is a feeling. It is the feeling of people's stares burning into his back. It is the feeling of Iruka's hand, limp and clammy between his own. It is the feeling of his stomach doing somersaults and then tightening, the feeling of imminence, of cold and brutal fear. It is the feeling of waiting, and watching, and praying that the slow rise and fall of Iruka's chest doesn't stop, won't ever stop.

It is the feeling of helplessness, knowing that he could have stopped it if it had been a kunai, or a shuriken, or even a powerful jutsu, but it wasn't. It came, instead, as a disease, an illness that no amount of medical jutsu could cure. It had been the same with Iruka's father, and his father's father. The curse of the Umino clan, some people call it. They never make it past thirty.

Iruka is twenty-nine.

Kakashi tries to comfort himself with how people say the passing is painless, that they all die content and at peace with themselves and those around them, but it doesn't work. His hands are trembling.

Then Iruka's eyelids flutter ever so slightly, and there is a small pressure of his hand on Kakashi's. It's probably just a reflexive movement, but Kakashi tells himself that Iruka is speaking to him, telling him goodbye, that everything is going to be okay, as his lover lets out one last breath and goes still.

To Kakashi, death is a line. It is a single, perfectly straight line that startles most of the people in the room, a line that registers across one of the screens as soon as Iruka's heart stops beating.

It is a curved line that Asuma's fist follows as he slams it into the wall. It is a vertical line that Naruto traces as he collapses to the ground, sobbing.

And it is the crooked, uncertain lines that Kakashi's tears trail down his face as he squeezes the lifeless hand and bids Umino Iruka, the love of his life, a final farewell.


	17. Baseball

**A/N: **I'm actually not too fond of this entry, but I couldn't think of anything else with the theme. Sorry. Just bear with me; the next one's better, I promise.

I finally finished reading HBP today. Go me. Heh.

I'd also like to thank everyone who's reviewed so far. I've broken 200 reviews; that's wonderful. My heartfelt thanks to all of you for your support!

* * *

**Title: **Baseball 

**Themes: **#1 – Sports.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was a jounin, and a good one at that. He had completed his share of A- and S-rank missions, and had braved death countless times. His kill number was climbing into the thousands, and there was no one in Konoha or beyond who did not hear his name and tremble with either fear or respect. 

So when said genius uber-killer jounin walked into his apartment one sunny afternoon with a large, swollen black eye and a slightly dazed look, Umino Iruka did not know whether to be concerned or to laugh his head off.

He settled for a "Rough day?" and an attempt at a straight face, though it failed as soon as Kakashi tried to glare at him through the swelling.

Watching as his lover turned away to conceal his laughter, Kakashi sank into the nearest chair and mumbled something.

Iruka looked up. "What was that?"

"I said, do you have an ice pack?"

Iruka grinned. "Yeah, hold on." He disappeared into the kitchen and returned in a moment with a fresh ice pack, which he tossed to Kakashi before crossing his arms, leaning back against the wall, and fixing the jounin with an amused look. "Seeing as you've been off-duty this entire week, I'm guessing that isn't from an enemy ninja's jutsu."

Kakashi sighed, wincing slightly as he touched the ice pack to the skin above his right eye. "This kid threw a weird weapon at me," he said, reaching into his pocket and extracting a limp white lump. Iruka took it and looked it over.

"Apparently it's a hard projectile," Kakashi said, "not as sharp and light as a kunai or a shuriken, but it can fly nearly as straight, and when it hits it can do some serious damage." He pointed to his eye, then continued. "He launched it by first standing in one corner of a large seal, and then hitting it with a thick club in the direction he wanted it to go. And I was reading in the tree nearby."

Iruka hummed softly in acknowledgement and continued examining the odd little object. Only when he had turned it over three or four times did he suddenly seem to recognize what it was. "Oh, it's a baseball."

Kakashi looked up. "What's a baseball?"

"I would've recognized it more easily if you hadn't slashed it to pieces," Iruka said. "It's this sport that some kids like to play. They hit the ball and run around and score points. I played it a couple of times when I was younger, but I never really liked it. I kept missing the ball whenever I swung at it with the bat."

"What's a bat?"

"It's that 'thick club' you were talking about."

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow. "And the seal? Is that to give them more power when they hit it or something?"

Iruka laughed. "It's not a seal, Kakashi, it's a baseball diamond," he said. "It simply delineates where the kid should run if he hits the ball. Haven't you ever heard of this game before?"

The silence that followed was enough, and Iruka sighed. "Right. Too busy killing people when you were younger to enjoy stuff like that." He tossed the remains of the ball up and caught it again. "Y'know, you shouldn't have done this to the kid's ball. He's probably mad at you for wrecking it." He paused, and looked at Kakashi curiously. "By the way, where is the kid anyway?"

"Um." Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. "I think he's…erm…"

"Kakashi…" Iruka's voice dropped an octave, a signal that Kakashi's immediate well-being was in serious danger. "Where is he…?"

"Uhh…" Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I think he's, er, still where I left him. Hanging upside-down. From the tree." He paused. "By his ankles?"

Hatake Kakashi, elite jounin and famed Copy-Nin of Konoha, was promptly banished to the couch for a week.


	18. Untitled

**A/N: **Again, apologies for the questionable quality of the last entry. This one's a little better. It's also got no title, because my brain thinks it's fun to just blank out whenever I try to think of one.

* * *

**Title: **Untitled

**Themes: **#54 – Wild.

* * *

To his enemies, Kakashi is a snake. He'll sneak up on you without a sound, and you'll think he's perfectly harmless with that friendly, lazy demeanor of his until he strikes without warning and suddenly you discover that he's deadly poisonous and you're dead before you know it.

It was this cold, calculating precision that made him an ANBU captain.

To his friends, Kakashi is a cat: distant, lazy, perhaps a bit proud, and entirely impossible to predict, yet still pleasant to have around when he's in a good mood. Scratch him in the right places and he'll even do nice things for you, like give you a copy of _Icha Icha_, or agree to a sparring match.

It is this friendly pliancy that makes him a friend that only a select few people have, but all cherish.

To the other ninja, Kakashi is a bear. He's lazy, never pays much attention, and never does anything unless he feels like it, yet he's dangerous all the same. He's all mild words and deadpan expressions until someone pisses him off, whereas it's fortunate if they get out with all their limbs intact.

It is this hidden malice that earns him respect from some and fear from most.

To Team Seven, Kakashi is a bird. He has valuable lessons to teach them, but oftentimes he doesn't teach but instead lets them experience. He nudges—sometimes shoves—them in the right direction, then sits back and watches while they deal with the new situation. He protects them when necessary, and stays by them when they get hurt. He cares for them despite the fact that they are a rather odd team. He also knows when to let them fly away.

It is this understanding that makes him the best teacher they could possibly hope for.

To those he visits at the memorial stone, Kakashi is a dog. He never forgets the ones he loved, even if they have passed on, and he shows up at the memorial every morning to talk to them with a loyalty that, had it been anyone else, would have been deemed obsessive. He doesn't bring them flowers or cards—he's past that stage now—but he does bring them the latest news, his thoughts, his most intimate feelings. He spills it all out to them without hesitation.

It is this devotion that earns him their blessings.

To the village and the world, Hatake Kakashi is all sorts of things. But to Umino Iruka, Kakashi is everything.

He is a snake when he sneaks into Iruka's classroom after school without a sound, just so he can glomp the unsuspecting teacher.

He is a cat when he snaps at everyone who tries to help him, and then melts in Iruka's arms.

He is a bear when he hardly bothers waking up to bid Iruka goodbye when he departs on missions. Then he fights his way into the hospital when Iruka comes back injured.

He is a bird when he lets Iruka go off on A-rank missions even though he desperately wants to hold him back. He knows the chuunin needs the experience to become a better ninja, but he doesn't sleep while Iruka is gone.

He is a dog when Iruka yells at him, berates him for being a pervert, for trying to grope him in public, for doing a million stupid things—and he just keeps coming back. Then, when Iruka apologizes and breaks down and asks why Kakashi doesn't just leave him, Kakashi forgives him without a second thought.

And it is this love that will keep Kakashi in Iruka's heart forever.


	19. Our Silences

**A/N: **I'm not awfully proud of this entry; it came off as choppy and Kakashi seems too idiotic for his genius title, but eh, whatever.

The end is in sight, guys; I can see the finish line! There should only be two more entries after this one, if all goes according to plan.

For anyone who doesn't know...Hijiri Shimon was one of the elite chuunin assigned to proctor the chuunin exams (according to LeafNinja).

* * *

**Title: **Our Silences 

**Themes: **#6 – Restaurant; #12 – One night stand; #30 – Alone; #43 – Wait for you.

* * *

Fridays were strangely slow days in the missions room. Nobody really knew why; perhaps shinobi simply didn't bother to turn in their reports until after they had enjoyed their weekend, or maybe the Hokage thought her ninja deserved a break and cut down on missions on that day. Whatever the reason, this Friday the missions room was uncharacteristically quiet. 

Only one person manned the missions desk on Fridays, and that was none other than chuunin teacher Umino Iruka. Except for him and the short line of ninja in front of the desk, the large room was empty save for a small group of jounin and chuunin lounging on the couch, gossiping and talking in a way that was very human and extremely unshinobi-like. Iruka ignored them for the most part, stamping another completed report. They deserved to enjoy all the off-mission time they could get.

"You _know_ the best food in Hidden Rain is at the Seafood Palace," Yuuhi Kurenai was saying, one hip resting against the arm of the couch so that she was leaning perhaps just a little too close to Sarutobi Asuma, seated comfortably next to her.

"Tch," Shiranui Genma said, lips curled around his senbon as usual, "That's only if you're a high-class snob. Have you seen their prices? The cost of miso alone was enough to make me run off screaming."

"Hayashi's makes the best miso," Hagane Kotetsu said, "and it's free." Izumo nodded in agreement.

"You mean the Hayashi's here or the Hayashi's in Sand?" Hijiri Shimon asked.

"They're just two branches of the same store," Izumo said with a shrug. "What difference does it make?"

"Well, I don't know about you but everything I ate in Sand tasted suspiciously like dirt," Shimon said.

"Really? I happen to like Sand food," Namiashi Raidou said. "They use the best spices. Remember that one restaurant we went to last time, Kakashi? The one with the cute waitress?"

"Hmm." Hatake Kakashi didn't bother looking up from his bright orange book as he flipped a page.

Raidou rolled his eyes. "Never mind," he grumbled.

Just at that moment, Iruka's voice interrupted their conversation. "Seven o'clock, people, time to close," the chuunin said, not looking up from the mission report he was currently scanning. "One minute before—ahh, you missed this section, Keitaro-san—I kick you all out."

A collective sigh and some grumbling as the elite ninja rose and began heading for the door. Iruka took the now-completed mission report and filed it, then nodded to Keitaro, who bamphed away. Leaning back in his chair and stretching luxuriously for a moment, he finally got up and began packing his own things.

A shadow fell across the desk. He looked up, blinked, and smiled. "Hey, Shimon. Need something?"

"You work too hard, Iruka," Shimon said, shaking his head in sympathy. "How 'bout we go get a drink or something? I heard Fujita's bar is having a sake special tonight."

Iruka grinned. "Y'know, that doesn't sound like a bad idea," he said. "Just let me get my things together."

"Great," Shimon said. "I can't quite remember, but I'm pretty sure the sake's half-price today—oh, hey, Kakashi-san. Wanna join us?"

Hatake Kakashi was standing beside Iruka, just between the two chuunin. His book was gone, and his single blue eye, fixed on Shimon, was narrowed dangerously. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a hiss. "What do you think you're doing?"

The room became silent; a jounin's anger was hard to ignore. Everyone stared as Kakashi continued in that same low, dangerous voice, "Iruka doesn't belong to you."

Immediately all eyes turned to the chuunin in question, but Iruka looked just as confused as everyone else, blinking in surprise as Kakashi said, "If you approach him again, I'll kill you. Am I understood?"

Shimon swallowed, knowing full-well how dangerous the situation had become for him. "O-Of course," he said. "Forgive me, Kakashi-san, I had no idea you and Iruka-sensei were…ah, involved."

At this, Iruka flushed. "Wait a minute, we're not—"

But Kakashi cut him off. "Well, now you know," he said, "So if you ever—"

Iruka frowned; his tone became indignant. "Now Kakashi-san—"

"—Pull something like that in front of me again—" Kakashi ignored him completely.

"Kakashi-san…"

"—I will rip your goddamn balls out. So—"

"_Hatake Kakashi!_"

Several people, including Kakashi, jumped at the sheer volume of Iruka's voice. The chuunin was currently glaring at the Copy-Nin, face red with a combination of embarrassment and mostly fury. When he spoke, his voice was trembling with rage. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

This time it was Kakashi's turn to look surprised. "What do you mean?" he asked, blinking at Iruka. "I'm simply protecting what's mine."

"And since when have I ever been yours?" Iruka snapped, furious. "I don't even _talk_ to you, and here you are making up all these bullshit lies about how we're together! Just what the bloody _fuck_ is your problem?"

People rarely saw Iruka this angry, and there was a clear reason why. Several of the jounin backed instinctively toward the door as Iruka continued on, gaining steam. "Do you think that just because I'm a lowly chuunin I'm just gonna bend over backwards for this shit? You think I'd be desperate enough to start something with an asshole like you?"

Kakashi frowned. "Iruka, you—"

"And don't act so familiar with me!" Iruka snapped. "It's Iruka-_sensei_, and the next time I see that shitty mug of yours within five feet of me, I'll kick your ass."

He turned then to the other chuunin, who had been watching this episode with eyes as big as saucers. "Come on, Shimon, let's go," Iruka said and, clapping a hand down on Shimon's arm, disappeared in a puff of smoke.

A few minutes passed during which no one dared to say a word. All eyes were fixed on Kakashi, who was still standing where Iruka had left him, looking stunned.

The quiet was broken when Genma cleared his throat, throwing away his old senbon (which he had dropped when Iruka had started yelling) and sticking a new one in his mouth. "So, Kakashi," he said. "Is there…something we should know?"

Asuma shook himself at that and immediately turned to the other ninja present. "All right, everybody out," he said, beginning to shoo them out the door.

"Yes, out," Kurenai said, helping him.

When the room was empty save for them and Kakashi, Asuma turned with a sigh. "Well, you really did it this time, Kakashi," he said, puffing on his cigarette.

"What in the world is the matter with you?" Kurenai added.

"Nothing," Kakashi said, his voice subdued, even broken. "He's mine, that's all."

"Well, Iruka apparently doesn't think so," Asuma said. "So unless you're delusional, which is highly unlikely seeing as you're still on active duty, there's something seriously wrong here."

"Did something happen between you two?" Kurenai asked, voice softening into a maternal tone.

It took a moment, but Kakashi finally nodded. Asuma sighed, tossing his now-extinguished cigarette into a nearby ashtray and lighting a new one. "Okay, talk," he said. So Kakashi, albeit slowly, hesitantly, did.

* * *

_Twenty-year-old Hatake Kakashi was tired, muddy, cold, hungry, bloody and sick of everything. _

_He was sick of one ANBU mission after another, of doing nothing but kill, kill, kill. This last assassination, a feudal lord in the Land of Waves, was just another one. Blood, sweat, dirt. And Kakashi was sick of it. _

_He allowed his body to take him over the rooftops of Konoha on autopilot, trying not to think of anything as he journeyed toward the Hokage tower. Sandaime would be waiting to hear the results of the mission. Only ANBU captains were allowed to report directly to the Hokage. _

_Not that Kakashi particularly cared at the moment. All he wanted was to go home and—no, scratch the home, he didn't even have a home now. 'Home' to him was just an empty apartment, devoid of decorations and furnishings, a place Kakashi hardly spent a week each month occupying. _

_What he really wanted was to forget, Kakashi decided as he came to a stop in a nearby tree to catch his breath and rest his aching right leg. The white porcelain ANBU mask made it slightly difficult to breathe, and he was a little lightheaded. Stupid ANBU. Stupid missions. Stupid life. _

_He'd tried to forget before, of course. He'd downed shot after shot of sake and gotten totally drunk. He'd hired whores. He'd even bought opium during one of his missions to Mist, and had spent hours on end passed out in his apartment. _

_Nothing worked though. There was always another mission, another assignment, another order to _kill_ that covered him with blood once again. And he was sick of it. _

_Sighing quietly, he straightened and was just about to leap out of the tree when a glimmer of light at the very edge of his peripheral vision caught his attention. _

_Turning, he blinked when he saw the well-lit window, yellow light spilling out its open panes. Strange, for a window to be open in the chuunin housing complex. Any decent ninja knew that an open window was just asking for trouble. _

Amateur_, Kakashi thought to himself as he leaped into another tree, then another, headed for the open window. Maybe if the idiot got a warning from an ANBU, he'd learn his lesson. _

_Landing in the tree closest to the window, Kakashi blinked in surprise before frowning in disgust. The room beyond, a small, simple bedroom, was empty. How did this person ever make chuunin if he left his window open _and_ he left the room? _

_He was just about to climb onto the windowsill when a loud thud and a curse sounded down the hallway. Quickly Kakashi jumped back into the tree, crouching among the branches and watching as a young ninja, perhaps only a year or two younger than himself, came limping into the bedroom, barely able to keep his hold on a huge box filled with scrolls. Kakashi guessed the noise had come from the box dropping on the unfortunate teen's foot. _

_He was definitely a chuunin, all right. His hitai-ate was secured neatly around his forehead, and he wore the standard-issue vest and uniform. The only distinguishing thing about him, perhaps, was his marked lack of scars. Most shinobi chuunin and above were marked with plenty of scars from missions, but this chuunin only had one visible mark: a long, horizontal scar across the bridge of his nose. _

_The shinobi in question carefully set the box down and began digging through the scrolls, all the while grumbling to himself, "The academy teacher exam is in three days and Mizuki _finally_ gives me his study materials, that jerk." _

_The phone rang and the chuunin scrambled for it. "Hello? Oh hey, Anko-chan!…Nope, just doing some studying for the exam…Oh, shut up, I like kids!" _

_Meanwhile, Kakashi found himself just staring as the chuunin continued to chatter into the phone. He had never seen anyone so…utterly _human_. The chuunin's posture, tone, behavior—it all screamed civilian, yet he was wearing a ninja uniform. He laughed and talked with Anko like a child, and his smile was warm, exuberant, genuine. Kakashi couldn't take his eyes off him. _

_"Right. Six o'clock sounds great, but you're paying the bill…Hey, you're the jounin! You make more money than me so don't complain!…Yeah, okay. See you then." The chuunin put the phone down and proceeded to sort through the scrolls, organizing them in different piles according to topic, humming quietly to himself. And all the while, Kakashi continued to watch. _

_Halfway through the box, the chuunin suddenly stopped in the middle of his movements. Then, so quickly that anyone but a well-trained ninja would have missed it, he grabbed a kunai from his pouch and threw it straight at Kakashi. And perhaps because he was tired, or indifferent, or maybe he just didn't give a damn, Kakashi only made a half-hearted attempt to dodge. This resulted in a slip on a lower branch, a rough tumble, and a suspiciously ANBU-shaped heap landing in front of the chuunin's window. _

_When he finally pulled himself together and lifted his throbbing head, he saw the chuunin staring at him through the window, kunai poised. When he spoke, his voice was uncertain. "ANBU-san…?" _

_Kakashi grunted, slowly getting to his feet. "Nice throw," he said. _

_The chuunin frowned. "What were you doing outside my window?" _

_"Just watching you." Kakashi quickly checked himself for any new injuries and found none. "Can I come inside?" he asked, tone perfectly neutral, suggesting that he wouldn't care either way if the chuunin said yes or no. _

_The chuunin stared at him for a moment longer before finally giving a to-hell-with-it-you-only-live-once shrug and moving aside. "Sure, come on in," he said. "You want some tea or something?" _

_"Yes, please," Kakashi said, climbing over the windowsill and into the warmth of the apartment. "What's your name?" _

_The chuunin hesitated before finally shrugging; Kakashi guessed he figured it made no difference. "Umino Iruka. Yours?" _

_"Doesn't matter." _

_"No, I guess it doesn't." Iruka disappeared into the kitchen and Kakashi heard him turning on the stove. _

_Sighing, the ANBU sat down slowly on the floor, careful not to get the wood dirty with the blood and mud clinging to his armor. He was crazy for doing this, he knew. Crazy for inviting himself into a total stranger's home, crazy for not reporting directly to the Hokage, crazy for taking this risk. But Kakashi had known for a long time that he was, in fact, certifiably insane, so it presented no problem for him. _

_Besides, Iruka was nice, and the place was warm. Kakashi felt safe here. _

_"Here you go," Iruka said, reentering the room and carefully setting a steaming mug of tea in front of Kakashi. "You're a mess. Do you wanna shower or something?" _

_At Kakashi's answering silence, Iruka nodded. "Right. You can't take off your mask. I understand." He sighed. "I can't have you sitting there all bloody though. Hang on a sec and I'll go get my first-aid kit." _

_"I didn't ask for your help," Kakashi said. _

_"I know," Iruka answered simply, and disappeared into the hallway again. Kakashi was stunned at the other ninja's easy, almost naïve trust. _

_Iruka returned after a moment and seemed to hesitate. "You know I'll have to take some of this stuff off," he said, indicating Kakashi's armor. _

_Kakashi did another crazy thing then. He nodded quietly and allowed Iruka to remove first the plates on his arm, then his claw-like gloves, and finally his chestplate. _

_"Huh. Looks like a pretty deep gash here. I don't think it'll need stitches though." Kakashi winced slightly as Iruka began gingerly dressing the wound in his upper arm, somewhere just below his ANBU tattoo. _

_"Why are you helping me?" he asked. _

_"Konoha shinobi should help each other," was Iruka's answer. _

_"How do you know I'm really one of Konoha's ANBU? I could be an enemy nin in disguise." _

_"You haven't killed me yet." _

_"I could." _

_"I know. Hold still now." After a moment, Iruka sighed in frustration, sitting back. "There's too much grime," he said. "You really need to shower." _

_Kakashi pointedly indicated his mask, and Iruka shrugged. "I'll show you into the bathroom and close the door. You can take the mask off then. I promise I won't bother you." _

_It took all of one second for Kakashi to decide to do as suggested. _

_When he emerged later dressed in a neat white robe with his face bared, Iruka jumped, quickly turning away and closing his eyes. "ANBU-san, you forgot—" _

_"No, I decided to leave it off," Kakashi said, smiling a bit at Iruka's reaction. "Don't worry, you can look. I don't mind." _

_Iruka slowly cracked one eye open, then another, and finally looked straight at Kakashi. "You shouldn't do this, you know," the chuunin said, face betraying worry, worry that he was breaking a huge rule. _

_"I know," Kakashi said, "But I want to. It's okay, I won't tell anyone. You don't even know my name, anyway." _

_"But I know your face," Iruka said. "What happens if I meet you on the street or something? Should I just pretend I don't know you?" _

_Kakashi thought briefly of how he always wore his uniform with the mask up. "Trust me, it won't be a problem." _

_Iruka regarded him uncertainly for a moment before finally shrugging. "Well, you're the superior officer," he said, and indicated the bed. "Here, I'll finish dressing those wounds for you now." _

_Kakashi looked toward the open window. "Close the window first, and draw the curtains," he said. Iruka did so, and Kakashi joined him on the bed. _

_After the slash in Kakashi's arm was dressed, there was a brief pause. "Um." The chuunin blushed lightly. "There's a pretty deep cut in your side. That means I'll have to…you know…" _

_"That's fine," Kakashi said, and allowed Iruka to open his robe, noting with some amusement that Iruka was making a valiant effort to focus on the wound and not on other parts. _

_"You know, technically you're in good shape to do this yourself," Iruka grumbled after his third (failed) attempt to avoid looking at Kakashi's crotch. _

_"I know," Kakashi said. Iruka paused as if waiting for more of an explanation, but Kakashi gave none. Finally, the chuunin just shrugged and continued his ministrations. _

_After only a few moments, the wound was neatly dressed. "There," Iruka said, leaning back. "I think those are the most serious ones. Are there any others?" _

_"There's a scratch in the side of my neck," Kakashi said. Iruka obediently healed it, pressing his hand gently to the wound and using chakra to mend the broken tissue. _

_"There's a small cut on my right shoulder…a bruise on my back…oh, and a scrape here, on my chest…" By now, both shinobi were strongly suspecting that Kakashi simply liked the feel of Iruka's fingers on his skin, yet neither made an attempt to stop. _

_At long last, though, Kakashi sighed, barely able to conceal the disappointment in his voice as he said, "That's all of them." _

_"Okay." Iruka set the first-aid kit aside, and they were quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat and said, "Um…would you like to stay the night?" _

_Kakashi blinked. "I wouldn't want to be a bother," he said. _

_"No, no, you look really tired," Iruka said. "And, well, I'll probably be up late studying for the exam anyway, so you can use the bed." _

_"I have to report to the Hokage," Kakashi said, voice even, toneless. _

_"Ah, ah yes, of course," Iruka said, nodding quickly. "I'm sorry to have kept you so long. Ah, and I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to wash your uniform or something, but if you want I can lend you an extra uniform. I mean, you probably don't want to go out in just that robe…" _

_Kakashi rose from the bed and bowed. "Thank you for your hospitality," he said. _

_"Eh, wait—well, okay, yeah," Iruka said, turning toward the bathroom. "I'll go…you know, get your stuff. Hold on a second." He came back within a few moments carrying Kakashi's uniform and armor, the porcelain mask placed carefully on top of the bundle. Bowing, Iruka handed everything to him. "Thanks for…" The chuunin paused. "Well, not killing me, I guess." _

_Kakashi took the bundle without a word. _Human_, he thought. _So human.

_He wanted to say something. He wanted to thank Iruka, to tell him that, even if it was just for a little while, he had made Kakashi feel whole again. He wanted to say, 'My name is Kakashi, I hope we meet again someday.' He wanted to tell Iruka to leave his window open again so Kakashi could come visit. He wanted to say so many things. _

_He would never really understand why he did what he did. He would spend some time giving it some thought, but would never be able to figure it out. All he knew was that a sudden desire swelled up in him, a need to see just how human Iruka could be, a wish that maybe this chuunin could make him forget. _

_The bundle dropped to the floor; the porcelain mask cracked. Iruka jumped and looked up, and Kakashi wasn't quite sure who initiated the kiss—he was already leaning in, but it seemed Iruka met him halfway. Either way, as soon as their lips touched the chuunin was kissing him back with a fervor that belied desperation, or perhaps that, too, was just Iruka willing to help him, to give him everything, even his body, to save Kakashi. Kakashi didn't care at the moment what it was, he only cared that Iruka didn't resist as he pushed them both back toward the bed, kicking his own robe off as he tore at Iruka's clothing, needing to feel skin on skin as soon as possible, losing himself completely in the scent and the feeling of this wonderful person, so beautiful and trusting and _alive.

* * *

Asuma took another deep draft from his cigarette, exhaling in a cloud of smoke before fixing Kakashi with a steady gaze. "So what happened after that?" 

"After what?" Kakashi asked.

"After the sex," Asuma said.

"Oh." Kakashi paused. "Um, nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean…nothing. I woke up before him the next morning, grabbed my stuff, and left."

"And you never went back?"

"No."

There was a long silence before Kurenai finally said, "So let me get this straight. Two years ago, you had a one night stand with Iruka. And you've hardly talked since."

Kakashi looked up. "It wasn't a one night stand," he said.

"Oh?" Kurenai said. "Then what was it?"

Kakashi was silent.

Kurenai sighed. "Look, Kakashi," she said, "Something that happened two years ago does _not_ make Iruka yours. It might've if you had decided to find him again and date him or something, but the fact is that you didn't. You left and didn't come back, and chances are he's probably already forgotten all about it. Plus you didn't even tell him your name."

"I couldn't."

"How about after quitting ANBU?" Kurenai asked. "As I remember, you did that when you were twenty too, so it must've happened not long after this. Why didn't you tell him then?"

Again Kakashi was silent.

This time it was Asuma's turn to sigh. "You've got a really screwed up view of relationships and love," he said.

When Kakashi spoke, his voice was small. "What should I do?" he asked.

"Anything you can do is two years too late," Kurenai said.

"She's right," Asuma said. "Any shot you had with Iruka, you ruined it when you walked out his door."

"What are you saying?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm saying you're lucky if he doesn't keep his promise to kick your ass the next time he sees you," Asuma said, and left with Kurenai, leaving Kakashi feeling empty and alone.

* * *

Umino Iruka had been reading the same line for the last ten minutes. Sighing, he finally set the paper aside and put the pen down, gazing out at the dark sky beyond his window. He had felt okay about it when he had been yelling at Kakashi in the missions room, but after some sake and three hours to think carefully about his words, he was beginning to feel guilty. 

This is stupid, he told himself, shaking his head angrily. The egotistical jerk deserved to be screamed at. After all, did Kakashi really expect Iruka to be all his just because of some damn one night stand two years ago?

Iruka knew that the mysterious ANBU who had tumbled out of the tree and landed outside his window was Kakashi. It had taken a few months and several encounters with the Copy-Nin in the village to finally match the voice, the lazy slouch, the single blue eye with the ANBU, but Iruka wasn't stupid.

He wasn't quite sure whether or not he loved Kakashi. As far as he knew, hormones had been the main reason he had slept with the jounin—Iruka hadn't gotten laid in a while, and he had been nineteen, damnit.

But really, was that the only reason? Iruka had to admit that there had been something about the dirty, bloody ANBU that had made Iruka open his heart to him. Maybe it was the tired, _hungry_ look in Kakashi's eyes, or maybe it was how he quietly agreed to all of Iruka's suggestions despite the fact that they compromised his identity, broke the rules. Or maybe it was the smile, that slight upturning of Kakashi's lips that hinted at something alive, something that was still human and still felt beneath all those masks, literal and figurative.

Iruka didn't know. Even after two years, he still had no idea just what his feelings on the matter were. He knew part of him—a large part—had been disappointed when he had woken up the following morning alone in the bed. That part of him had hoped that perhaps the ANBU stranger would return, even if he was even bloodier than before. But Kakashi hadn't returned, hadn't even spared more than a glance or a few short words with him for the next two years. Iruka had then gradually assumed Kakashi wasn't interested, and he had pretty much convinced himself of that fact—until the incident in the missions room earlier.

A knock on the door, quiet and almost hesitant, roused Iruka out of his thoughts. Rising and quickly pulling his loose hair into a low ponytail, he headed for the door.

He was only mildly surprised to see that his visitor was none other than Hatake Kakashi. He had thought that they'd have to confront each other about the incident sometime, but he hadn't really expected Kakashi to approach him so early, much less on his own territory. Ninja simply didn't make themselves vulnerable like that.

Then Kakashi bowed, causing Iruka to blink in surprise. "Good evening, Iruka-sensei," the jounin said, voice calm, quiet.

"Um." Iruka furrowed his brow, unsure of what was going on. "Hello, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi straightened again, eyes refusing to meet Iruka's and instead looking down at his own sandaled feet as he said in a voice that could best be described as careful, "I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was entirely out of line and inappropriate, as it is evident that you don't feel anything for me."

_That's not true_, Iruka wanted to say, but instead he moved aside and motioned toward the interior of his apartment. "Would you like some tea?" he asked. _I must have drunk more than I thought. _

"Yes, please," Kakashi answered, quietly shedding his sandals and tailing Iruka into the kitchen.

They were silent as Iruka made tea and Kakashi waited. Once the mug was in front of him, though, the jounin finally spoke. "I suppose I should explain why I acted the way I did."

Iruka almost told him it wasn't necessary, but shrugged instead. "If you like." He swept the papers neatly off the table to make room before sitting down opposite Kakashi, watching him carefully over the rim of his mug.

"Yes, well." Kakashi paused for a moment as if to take a breath. "I…guess I should start with this." And he pulled his mask down.

If he expected Iruka to be surprised, he was disappointed. Iruka simply nodded. "I already knew it was you," he said.

Kakashi blinked. "But I didn't tell you my name."

"I'm not an idiot, Kakashi-san," Iruka said. "I have a good memory, especially of voices."

"Oh." Kakashi looked down into his mug. "I…thought you forgot. And that's why you yelled at me."

"I didn't forget," Iruka said. "But I'll admit, though, that I wanted to sometimes." When Kakashi looked up at that, Iruka sighed. "I thought you might come back," he said, "so I waited for you. But you never showed up. Even when I finally figured out who you were, you just ignored me; you wouldn't even look at me. So…So after a while, I figured that night didn't mean anything to you. Maybe you just needed to get off or something, and thought it'd be fun to do it with me, I don't know. Maybe you did this with people all the time, and maybe you'd already forgotten about me. Either way, I gave up and tried not to think about it anymore."

Silence. Then: "I'm sorry." _I shouldn't have left. _

"It's all right." _I shouldn't have fallen. _

"If I had known…" _I should have come back. _

"It's not your fault." _I should have chased after you. _

After another pause, Kakashi said, "I don't suppose we could just pretend it never happened."

Iruka looked up. "If you like," he said. "Nobody knows about it but us, anyway."

"Not that," Kakashi said. "I mean the thing in the missions room today."

Iruka frowned, and Kakashi sensed his anger rise. "Why, so you can get all possessive over me again?"

At Kakashi's answering silence, the chuunin sighed. "Look, I have no idea what it says in those _Icha Icha_ books," he said, "but this is no way to keep up a relationship. Hell, I don't even know if you want a relationship, or if I really am just a masturbation aide to you or something."

Kakashi was quiet for a moment before whispering, "If it's any comfort…I think I'm in love with you."

"You sure don't act like it," Iruka said, though he looked away when he said it.

"What do you mean?"

"If you're in love with someone, you don't sleep with them for one night and then disappear for a couple of years," Iruka said. "Normal people would go on a date. They'd have dinner, or watch a movie, or maybe just take a walk or something. They'd give each other goodnight kisses, hold hands during the day, send each other gifts, whatever. They'd actually _talk _to each other, and—"

"Do you like seafood?"

Iruka paused in midsentence, turning to look at Kakashi. "What?"

"Do you like seafood?" Kakashi repeated.

The chuunin blinked. "Um…sure. Why?"

"There's this new seafood restaurant that opened a few weeks ago," Kakashi said, almost mumbled. "It's just a few blocks down. I heard it's really good, and it's open till late."

For a moment, Iruka didn't know what to say. At long last, though, he smiled. "So you're asking me out to dinner?" he asked.

"Well, that's what you said you should do if you're in love," Kakashi said.

"It's a step," Iruka said, rising. "Okay, seafood sounds great."

"I can pay," Kakashi said.

"We'll split," Iruka said.

A pause, then: "Thank you, Iruka-sensei."

The chuunin smiled. "Iruka will do just fine," he said, and together they walked out the door.


	20. Come Back Safe

Hello, everyone! It's my birthday today, and as it is Asian tradition to be generous on your birthday, I am updating all my WIPs today, which includes this…anthology, if you will. Unfortunately, the entry is rated R for a lime, and since I didn't want to change the rating of the entire story just for one part, I've posted it on my ficjournal on LJ.

Please only read this if you are of legal age, whatever that might be where you live.

**Title**: Come Back Safe  
**Rating**: R  
**Pairing**: KakaIru, past IruOC  
**Warnings**: Contains M/M lime, emo!Iruka and Kakashi being a jerk.  
**Themes**: #18 - My thoughts alone; #37 - Arousals.  
**Summary**: Iruka is still in mourning, and Kakashi doesn't care.

http / maxw3llsmage . livejournal . com / 10891 . html

Thanks, guys!


	21. Where the Heart Is

**A/N: **I'M DONE.

WOW.

Yes, this is the last entry of this monstrous anthology…thing. Finally, almost a year and a half after starting my claim at the 55Themes LJ community, I've finished everything!

With that said, thanks to everybody for all their support! Really, I couldn't have done this without your warm feedback and concrit, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's people like you who make authors like me want to keep writing.

An advance warning: I'm giving some consideration to leaving FFN permanently and moving to LJ; nothing set in stone yet, but I'm thinking about it. Just letting you all know, so that if (when?) I suddenly disappear from this site, you'll know where I went.

Considering this entry specifically, I played with a pun on the "missing you" theme. Hopefully it won't be hard to notice…

Well then, thanks again. And happy birthday, Kakashi! Looks like we both have reason to celebrate today.

Until next time, then, _-MeeLee_

* * *

**Title: **Where the Heart Is 

**Themes: **#27 – Adrenaline; #38 – Missing you.

* * *

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

He shifted a bit, stirred just slightly in his sleep as the soft noise echoed through the darkness, his mind, his dreams.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Very slowly, Hatake Kakashi opened his eyes.

Darkness, utter and complete, greeted him, and he blinked, confused. Where was he? Why was it so dark? Why was he alone?

Where was Iruka?

Then it came back to him, slowly, sluggishly, but it came. The memory of his last S-rank mission, a scroll retrieval from Sound, and the squad of Sound nin that had brought him down just outside Konoha's borders. The run-down bunker they had brought him to, the dark, dank cell they locked him in. The torture, the beatings, the forced chakra depletions so severe that sometimes he forgot if he was dead or alive.

Three weeks of lashings, beatings, electroshock, drugs. Orochimaru had come to supervise once. Kakashi shuddered at the memory.

His Sharingan throbbed, sharp and angry in contrast to the steady, almost dull pain he was feeling in the rest of his body. It was only natural, he supposed—his body could learn to suppress the pain, but his left eye could not. Because it hadn't been his to begin with.

He tried not to think about that; his next interrogation session—a euphemism for torture—would probably be coming around soon, and he had to rip his mental defenses together before then—memories of Obito certainly would not help the situation. _Think, Kakashi,_ he told himself. _You're not a genius for nothing. What can keep you strong?_

The answer was obvious, of course. Iruka. His comrade, his friend, the love of his life. Iruka, whose face had been the only thing keeping Kakashi going all this time. He thought about Iruka during each of his sessions, the harsh questions thrown at him by his torturers drowned out by Iruka's voice, the burn of lash and steel on his skin softened by his lover's touch. Iruka, who was the one reason Kakashi was determined to get through this, so he could go home and see that warm smile again.

Closing his eyes, Kakashi concentrated, trying to remember the last time he had seen Iruka, what the chuunin had been wearing, what time of day it was, what his lover had said. _Be careful_, he remembered. _I'd hate to have to come after you._

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Kakashi allowed himself to smile, rueful and small. _Sorry, Iruka,_ he thought to himself. _Guess I've ended up burdening you after all._

He wondered if rescue squads had been sent out after him yet. He was almost certain they had been, and he imagined them even now combing the countryside for any traces of him and his attackers. He wondered if they had found anything yet, if Iruka was sitting at home, pacing back and forth through the kitchen as he was wont to do when he was worried, or if he was right now racing through the trees with the team, sharp eyes scanning the forest for any signs of struggle, Kakashi's loyal pack of nin-dogs by his side.

The jounin wished he had enough chakra to summon one of his dogs now, if only to have someone to talk to. Sure, his torturers talked to him, but it was really more like yelling, or else sneered questions—it seemed forever since Kakashi had last heard someone talk for the sake of talking, and during these times in between his sessions, it was always so forlorn, so empty, so quiet—

Wait. _Too_ quiet.

Kakashi blinked, forcing his breathing to slow so that soon all he could hear was…nothing. Complete, utter silence.

No sounds, no echoes. No dripping.

For some reason, Kakashi's entire body tensed, something nameless beginning to nag at the back of his mind. Really, it could be anything—the faucet had been fixed, the pipeline cut, anything—

Something rumbled, low and ominous like a beast. The ground suddenly trembled, shifting slightly beneath him, and Kakashi held his breath through the ensuing silence.

_Crash!_ Something exploded in the distance, and suddenly the place seemed to erupt with noise—screams, the roar of water, dull _thunks_ of kunai and shuriken embedding themselves in the rotting stone walls.

And then the howls.

Relief surged through Kakashi's body, relief so strong he thought he might cry. He knew those howls, in fact could pinpoint each of them to the nin-dog emitting it. His pack was here. Konoha had found him.

He tried to rise, to move just a bit more toward the door to his cell, but his body could not manage even that small movement, his chakra exhaustion too great. The howls were growing louder, and rising in pitch—he recognized it, a cry calling on him, their master, to answer them.

He opened his mouth, tried to shout, but only a weak groan came out and he cursed inwardly. To be so weak at a time like this—

"I smell him!" The voice was small, distant, yet still caused Kakashi's heart to swell with hope. "He's this way! Hurry!"

_Pakkun_, the jounin thought, letting out the breath he had been holding. _I am going to cook you the biggest steak I can find when we get back home…_

The patter of paws approached and came to a stop just outside his door. Something scratched at the thick metal, and a low whine permeated the room before a voice that belonged to another one of his dogs spoke up. "Kakashi?"

Unable to speak, Kakashi groaned again. The dog seemed to recognize his voice, though, for he gave a soft yelp and immediately started clawing at the floor beneath the door. "Kakashi! Hang on, we're coming!"

Another explosion rang out in the distance, closer now. More screams; a voice Kakashi recognized as that of one of his tormentors gurgled out, "Konoha—!" before falling silent. Then suddenly there was a barrage of voices beyond the door, a flurry of paws and whines and frantic dogs.

"Kakashi!"

"Master! Are you all right?"

"Just hang in there!"

Then Pakkun's voice again. "We can't get through like this!" the pug cried and, after a pause, seemed to address someone else as he yelled, "He's in here! Help us!"

A roaring surge of more water; a shriek as someone else was engulfed. Then footsteps, measured, even. Human.

"Out of the way!" cried a new voice. "Kakashi, you in there?"

The voice surged through Kakashi like electricity, warming him, washing him through with relief and elation and a million other emotions. He struggled to rise, straining toward the door as if it were the gates to Heaven itself.

"Kakashi!" Iruka's voice was harrowed, frantic, yet still strong. "Answer me, Kakashi!"

_Iruka_, Kakashi tried to shout, but all that came out was a weak "Uah."

"It's him!" Pakkun cried. "Iruka, you have to blast the door!"

"Get back, all of you!" Iruka shouted, and Kakashi could almost see his hands flying through seals. "Kakashi, cover your face! _Suiton: Hahonryuu!_"

The door groaned, shuddered, then burst open as water surged into the room, and suddenly it seemed all eight of his dogs were on top of him.

"Master!"

"Kakashi! Are you all right?"

And then Iruka was there too, bodily hauling the dogs off him by their hind legs or their tails, shouting all the while. "Everybody _off!_ Are you crazy—do you _want_ to suffocate him? Bull, Shadow, guard the door! Everybody else _get back!_"

And then familiar hands were on him, checking for injuries and assessing his chakra levels. "Damn," Iruka whispered, brown eyes narrowed in worry and fear but mostly just plain fury. "Forced chakra drainage, multiple times. Those _bastards._" He began applying basic first aid to some of Kakashi's more serious wounds, the warm pulse of his chakra a welcome change to the continuous agony the jounin had been suffering for the last three weeks.

"Can you move?" Pakkun asked from his spot sitting worriedly beside Kakashi's head.

Kakashi made a small, pitiful noise in response—every muscle in his body felt like it was dead—and Iruka shook his head. "I figured as much," his lover whispered, digging into the pockets of his chuunin vest. "You probably can't swallow soldier pills either, so I'm going to have to go old-school on this one." He pulled out a small syringe, loading it with contents from a clear vial. "This'll feel a little weird," he said, flicking the needle once, "but trust me, there's nothing like pure adrenaline to get you going." And he plunged the needle into Kakashi's arm.

Kakashi screamed, jerked, and then suddenly everything was _alive_, his muscles and skin pulsing with sudden energy and the need to _move move move_, and before he knew it he was on his feet, the pain from his injuries but a dull throb in the background as he seized Iruka's arm in a vice-like grip and shouted, "Go!"

And then they were going, the sodden walls of the bunker flying by in a blur of grey and moldy green, and the Sound nin were falling before them like flies, his nin-dogs flying at exposed throats and Iruka's water jutsu blasting away at anything and everything in their path as they rushed down dank hallways, turned slippery corners, burst through dark doors—

The sudden sunlight blinded him, a thousand shining daggers of light stabbing into his eyes relentlessly so that he stumbled and fell, groaning like a child. But then Iruka was there, slinging his arm over his shoulder and pulling him into the forest, and his dogs were there too, keeping up a howling din of encouragement as he staggered forward, first blindly, then gradually with increasing focus as his vision finally cleared, until he was following Iruka rather than leaning completely on him, stumbling along the forest floor as much as his injuries would allow.

He tried to extend his chakra out, to feel for any pursuers, but all he got for his effort was a sharp, stabbing pain in his Sharingan and he quickly shut it as Iruka gave his hand a quick squeeze. "It's only adrenaline, so it didn't do anything for your chakra reserves," the chuunin said as they continued running through the forest, "so don't strain yourself. Let me do the work, okay?"

At Kakashi's answering nod, he turned to the dogs. "Pakkun! Can you smell anybody chasing us?"

"No," the pug answered from somewhere on Kakashi's right. "I think we wiped them all out, or at least enough so that they won't be able to organize a pursuit for quite some time."

"How far are we from Konoha?" Kakashi asked. His voice was rough, scratchy with disuse, and sounded strangely alien to him.

"Roughly two miles from the border," was Iruka's answer. "Directly west."

"Where are you meeting the rest of your team?"

Iruka stiffened, his grip on Kakashi's hand tightening. The nin-dogs, too, seemed to falter in their steps; Gunner nearly ran into a tree.

When Iruka finally spoke, his voice was soft. "There is no team," he said.

Kakashi blinked. "What do you mean?" Search-and-rescues were always more efficient with a team; you could cover a wider area, and have more resources available in the event of an attack. It made no sense that Iruka would be working alone.

"I mean it's just me and the dogs," his lover answered, refusing to meet his eyes as they continued through the forest. "Nothing more to it, Kakashi."

And Kakashi wanted to ask some more, because something was forming in the back of his mind, something that warned him that things were…off, somehow. But Iruka had that tone of voice that plainly said _Drop it_, so he did.

They ran on for about another mile. And then, completely out of the blue, it happened.

One moment, Kakashi was running, dragging his left foot slightly as he forced himself to balance his weight against Iruka's, the forest flying by him in a flurry of leaves and branches. The next, he was on the ground, rather confused about how he had gotten there, fresh pain searing through him as a million wounds protested the sudden fall, his muscles turned suddenly to lead and his Sharingan aching and damn but he hoped Iruka had brought another one of those adrenaline vials.

His lover stopped, pivoted mid-step and was back at his side in an instant, nimble fingers quickly running down his sides, checking for new injuries. Kakashi gritted his teeth, feeling suddenly furious with himself for not being able to hold out longer. "Can…keep going," he whispered, stubborn, angry. Of all the times for his body to fail—

"No, you can't," Iruka answered in his no-nonsense teacher voice. "The adrenaline's worn off, and I don't have any more."

"Then," Kakashi said, every word seeming to take an unfair amount of effort, "what…do?"

Iruka sighed, straightening and turning to Kakashi's dogs. "Bull, stay with me. Everyone else…you'd better head off now." The canines nodded, each of them disappearing in a puff of smoke until only Bull and Pakkun remained.

The small pug turned to Kakashi, and the jounin blinked—the dog looked genuinely…sad. "I'm so sorry, Kakashi," Pakkun whispered, before he, too, disappeared.

And Kakashi opened his mouth to call Pakkun back, to ask him to explain, but then Iruka was wrapping his arms around him, hauling him carefully up from the ground and setting him gently across Bull's massive back. Kakashi immediately relaxed as much as he could, one hand coming up to loosely grip the giant bulldog's collar, trying to shift his weight so that he wouldn't burden his dog too much. It made sense, for Iruka to have Bull carry him. The chuunin probably couldn't move as fast with Kakashi's weight on his back, and Bull was strong, they'd be back in Konoha in no time—

And then Iruka stepped forward, bringing one hand up and gently caressing Kakashi's bare cheek. "This is where we part, Kakashi," his lover said, his smile sad but strong. "I'm sorry."

Kakashi must've looked confused, because Iruka's smile softened. "Everything will be explained once you get back to the village," the chuunin said. "Just…try and relax until then, okay?" Leaning forward, he gently brushed Kakashi's lips with his own. "Goodbye, Kakashi. I'll miss you."

And then Bull was moving, and the forest was surging up all around him, and Iruka was fading into the distance. And Kakashi opened his mouth, shouted _Iruka_ and _why_ and _Iruka_ but Iruka didn't answer, just watched him with that soft, beautiful smile until the forest swallowed him up and then it was just Kakashi and Bull and his silent screams for his lover and the darkness that enveloped him like the maw of some horrible beast.

* * *

When next Kakashi woke, it was to the sound of a steady beeping rather than dripping. Slowly cracking open his eyes, he noticed two things. 

First of all, he appeared to be in a hospital room: pristine, white, clean almost to a fault. The sunlight streaming in through the window announced mid-afternoon, and the various machines around him buzzed and hummed and beeped as they monitored his life signs.

Second, there was someone very familiar sitting at the small table next to the window, poring over numerous medical reports and notes that had been spread all over the wooden surface. Light pink hair shimmered in the sunlight, and Kakashi could not help but smile as Haruno Sakura shook her head a bit, frowning at the report she was currently perusing. A dedicated student, as always.

The recently-promoted chuunin had not reacted to his awakening; apparently, Kakashi's chakra levels were still sufficiently low as to avoid detection. The realization of his condition led to the memory of how he had gotten into that state, which in turn led to the memory of who had rescued him from his hell, and what had happened after that.

Suddenly, the white and the bright sunlight lost some of their cheer.

Kakashi coughed. The sound was slightly muffled by the thin surgical mask that had been pulled over the bottom half of his face, but Sakura jumped nonetheless, spinning around in her chair and whipping out a kunai with impressive speed. Kakashi would praise her for that, he really would, as soon as he got his questions answered first.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried, scrambling to her feet and tucking the kunai quickly away as she hurried over to the side of his bed. "Thank goodness you're okay. Tsunade-sama said you'd pull through but you were unconscious for two days and I was really starting to get worried…"

"Maa," Kakashi answered, voice a bare whisper. "You needn't worry, Sakura. I'm stronger than that."

"Yes, of course," Sakura said with a smile, glancing quickly over the monitors as she placed a careful hand over the thin white cloth covering Kakashi's left eye. "Does it still hurt, Sensei?"

"Only a little," the jounin replied. That was a lie; it hurt like _hell_, but he wasn't about to worry Sakura like that. "I've had worse."

"Mm." Sakura didn't look like she believed him. Kakashi felt proud, despite the situation, as the chuunin carefully channeled a bit of chakra into his Sharingan. The stabbing pain lessened into a dull throbbing, and the jounin gave an inward sigh of relief.

"Do you need anything?" Sakura was saying, fussing with his IV and the other instruments, careful to keep her movements smooth and deliberate; anyone knew that startling a jounin, crippled or not, was an invitation to lose limbs. "A glass of water? Something to eat? The cafeteria food is horrible, but I can run out and get you something—"

"Where's Iruka?" Kakashi asked, in the most neutral tone he could manage.

Sakura stilled, one hand still holding the IV pole. Her eyes lowered, until they were fixed on the edge of Kakashi's bed.

The jounin sighed. "Sakura," he said. "Is he teaching? Or on a mission?" He needed to hear it, needed her to tell him that Iruka was still here, in the village. Because if he wasn't, then…then…

No. Iruka was here. He had to be. He had nowhere else to go.

His former student straightened, hand sliding off the IV to settle on the railing beside Kakashi's bed. She turned, aqua-blue eyes seeking out Kakashi's single dark blue one. "Kakashi-sensei," she said, and stopped, biting her lip.

"Yes, Sakura," the jounin answered, his voice neither discouraging nor encouraging, though inwardly he half-wished her to continue, and half-dreaded her answer.

"I…" Sakura frowned, hands working in her lap. "I don't know how to properly say this, but…" She paused, and took a deep breath. "When you went missing," she finally said, "Iruka-sensei was very worried about you. Tsunade-sama sent out search parties, but they all came back empty-handed. Iruka-sensei kept pushing for more searches, more resources in wider ranges, but nothing turned up. Eventually, Tsunade-sama called the search parties off."

She paused again. Kakashi held his breath as she finally continued, "Iruka-sensei kept trying, of course, but he wasn't allowed to leave Konoha, not unless it was an official mission. He argued with Tsunade-sama, argued with _everybody_, actually, and then, about a week back…he just left."

Something inside Kakashi died at those words. Sakura took another breath. "He packed most of his things into boxes and left them in Naruto's old apartment," the chuunin continued. "Then he headed out of the village, and never came back. We sent out searches and everything, but everybody knew we wouldn't be able to find him. Not until he found you.

"Then two days later, your dog brought you back to the village, but Iruka-sensei wasn't with you. So…unless he's dead, which I don't think he is…Iruka-sensei's officially been marked as a missing-nin."

Kakashi breathed slowly in, then out as the words registered. Iruka, a missing-nin. Iruka, a deserter. A traitor.

Suddenly, he regretted asking after his lover at all.

When Sakura spoke again, her voice was small. "I'm so sorry, Kakashi-sensei," the chuunin whispered, and Kakashi swallowed hard.

_I'm so sorry, Kakashi,_ Pakkun had said.

_I'll miss you,_ Iruka had said.

Iruka.

"Sakura." His voice was thin to the point of breaking. "I'd…like some time alone, if you don't mind."

The chuunin, to her credit, just nodded, hurrying to the table to gather up her notes. "Please sleep if you can, Kakashi-sensei," she said, not looking at him. "You need your rest. You…wouldn't want Iruka-sensei to worry." And she hurried out the door.

Left alone in the empty room, Kakashi sighed, slowly closing his eyes. He would fix this, he told himself. As soon as he was better, he would fix this.

Sleep came fast and unbidden. He dreamt of Iruka.

* * *

Kakashi slept, on and off, for the next three days. Whenever he woke, someone would be there—Sakura, Asuma, Genma, even Gai once—though he'd been promptly dragged away by security five minutes later due to the volume of his voice—and though they all expressed their concern for him and his well-being, and would good-naturedly update him on everything that was happening in the village, Kakashi knew why they were really there. Tsunade had undoubtedly asked them to keep an eye on him, to prevent him from doing anything stupid. 

Not that he could do much, in his current state. He could sit up in bed now, and even stay awake long enough to read a couple of chapters of _Icha Icha_, but that was about it. His chakra depletion—coupled with the wounds from his torture—guaranteed his convalescence for at least two more weeks, Sakura had told him.

It didn't matter much to Kakashi anyway. He'd take the time to recover, to get his body back to full function. And once that happened, he would go find Iruka, and drag him back to the village kicking and screaming if he had to.

Because Iruka was really all that mattered now. He saw his lover's face everywhere: on the white walls of his hospital room, in the dark realms of his dreams. He often wondered where Iruka was now; had he found refuge in another village? Or was he even now crouched somewhere in the unforgiving wilderness, shivering with cold and exhaustion, completely alone?

Was he dead?

No, Kakashi told himself, inwardly shaking his head and concentrating on the corner of his book. If the hunter-nin—and undoubtedly they had already been sent—had found him, Kakashi would have heard by now. And even if they did find him, they probably wouldn't kill him. Iruka was loved by too many in the village; they wouldn't stand for him to be executed like a common criminal.

Iruka was fine, Kakashi thought as he closed the book with a sharp snap, catching the attention of his companion for the day. Shiranui Genma blinked, senbon twitching between his lips. "You finished already?" the tokubetsu jounin asked.

Kakashi smiled, one visible eye curling up into an inverted U. "No," he answered, "but I'm rather thirsty. Would you mind fetching me a glass of water or something?"

Genma shrugged, sliding easily to his feet with a feline grace only well-trained shinobi could manage, and headed for the door. "You sure you don't want something from the vending machi—"

"_Kakashi-sensei!_"

Genma walked out the door; Sakura ran in. The result: a collision that sent Genma flying clear across the room, while Sakura just sort of stood there just inside the doorway, blinking in confusion.

Apparently his former student had been learning too much from Tsunade for her own good, Kakashi decided as he watched Genma pick himself up from the floor, looking rather dazed.

"Ah—Genma-san!" Sakura cried, finally seeming to realize the situation and hurrying forward. "Are you all right?"

"Fine," the tokubetsu jounin mumbled, blinking slowly. "Wow, stars. Pretty."

"Um, well—Kakashi-sensei!" Forgetting completely about the poor jounin, Sakura instead turned to her teacher, eyes wide and frantic. "You have to come with me _now_, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Maa, Sakura," Kakashi answered. "Calm down a little, or your chakra will disturb the patients—"

"No, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried, "Iruka-sensei just arrived at the village gates, Tsunade-sama's talking with him, the ANBU are there and I don't know but I think they're going to kill him—_please_, Kakashi-sensei—"

"Take me there, Sakura," Kakashi said immediately.

* * *

For someone who had deserted his village more than a week ago, Umino Iruka didn't look too much the worse for wear, Tsunade thought to herself as she watched the chuu—no, former chuunin standing before her. Iruka's clothes were neat and clean, the kind worn by peasants in the Rain countryside, and his dark brown hair was pulled back in its customary ponytail. His eyes, however, were hollow, and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. 

The squad of ANBU standing between him and the crowd of astonished villagers was stiff and disciplined, and its leader, wearing a white porcelain cat mask, stepped forward. "Umino Iruka, by the laws of Konoha, we are required to—"

"Shut up," Tsunade said simply, and Cat stiffened.

"Hokage-sama—"

"What are you doing here, Iruka?"

Iruka sighed, a soft, tired sound. "I wanted to see the village again, Tsunade-sama," he answered, voice low and respectful as always as he bowed. Tsunade frowned; Iruka was…different, somehow. He seemed to have just a bit too much trouble straightening back up, his words taking just a bit too much effort to form.

Quietly, subtly, almost without thinking about it, Tsunade slowly extended her chakra out, feeling for any anomalies. "For what purpose?" she asked. "You don't belong to this village anymore, Iruka."

Iruka smiled at that, small and bitter. "I am aware, Tsunade-sama," was his calm answer.

Something flickered in response to Tsunade's chakra, something soft and venomous and undoubtedly sinister. The Godaime Hokage frowned; Iruka's chakra patterns were fractured and irregular, as if—

The teleportation jutsu startled most of the people present, the smoke and the rush of air stirring up a flurry of dust and dead leaves as Sakura materialized in the middle of the square, with none other than Hatake Kakashi slung halfway over her shoulder, standing rather unsteadily on his feet.

Several villagers gasped; the ANBU tensed; Tsunade blinked. Iruka just smiled. "Hello, Kakashi," the chuunin said. "You look well. I'm glad."

"Iruka," Kakashi answered, as if almost afraid to say the name. His single blue eye was wide with shock; his entire body trembled. "Why…Why did you come back?"

But Iruka didn't answer. Instead, he turned back to Tsunade, the smile never leaving his face. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama," he said, and suddenly Tsunade saw it, the malicious toxin coiling around his chakra like an angry snake. Her entire body stiffened.

"Iruka, what—"

"Thank you," Iruka repeated, "for letting me die inside my village."

And then he was falling, sinking to his knees and toppling forward, but then smoke erupted around him and Kakashi was there, catching his lover so that they both sank to the ground.

Iruka didn't move. Kakashi's breaths came in short, sharp gasps.

"Help me," the jounin whispered, in a voice that was utterly broken and scared. "Please, somebody help me."

Something inside Tsunade came to life at that, something that was at the basis of her training as a medic-nin, her pride as a Sannin, her responsibility as the Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure. And then she was moving, running toward Kakashi and Iruka as she turned and yelled, "Sakura! Fetch me the antidote for toxin A44; I'll meet you at the hospital!"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama!" her young apprentice answered, disappearing in a puff of smoke even as Tsunade finally reached the pair, gently prying Kakashi away from his lover so she could check Iruka's vitals.

"There's still time," she said, hands moving quickly over the chuunin's body, sealing some chakra points, opening others. "The poison's slow-acting—if we get him help fast enough, we might be able to save him."

"Hokage-sama!" Cat cried, sounding horrified. "What are you doing?"

"My job," Tsunade answered simply, slinging Iruka's body easily over one shoulder as she hauled Kakashi up, carrying him like a child.

"But he is a wanted—"

"Do you have a problem with me trying to save one of my shinobi?" Tsunade snapped, turning to glare at the ANBU. Silence fell; the villagers held their breaths.

At long last, the ANBU shuffled his feet a bit—probably only recently promoted, Tsunade thought—and seemed to nod behind his mask. "We will escort you to the hospital, Hokage-sama," he said.

"You do that," Tsunade answered, as they took to the rooftops.

* * *

Umino Iruka woke up in Heaven. 

Now that was rather odd, he knew, considering he'd abandoned his village and killed more than two dozen Sound shinobi before dying. But how else was he supposed to explain the world of endless white, the light that flooded his vision, the lilting, echoing songs that greeted him?

He tried to move, but it was hard. Maybe he wasn't used to his spirit body yet. Did he even have a spirit body? How did things work in Heaven, anyway?

"…such an idiot," the distant song continued, growing steadily in volume as it seemed whatever was stuffing Iruka's ears up began to disappear. "Teleportation jutsu…even such a short distance…what were you thinking?"

Iruka blinked. He didn't know angels discussed jutsu too…

"I'm all right," came the answer, and suddenly Iruka realized it wasn't as much a song as a person simply speaking. "Tired, but I'm okay. Really."

That voice. Iruka recognized that voice, and his heart skipped a beat. Kakashi. But why…?

And then suddenly the white began to fade, Heaven twisting and distorting until suddenly he was just Iruka, lying on a bed in a hospital room, with his lover and the current leader of his village talking in low voices just a few feet away from him.

Wait, so he was alive then? But that made no sense. He'd injected the poison himself; he knew his time had been just about up when he had entered the village. So why was he here?

Only one way to find out, either way.

"Um," he said, and his voice sounded frighteningly small even to himself. "Hello."

Tsunade's head snapped up sharply, and she started toward him but Kakashi beat her to it, shooting up from his chair and spinning toward the bed—except he didn't quite make the first step, instead collapsing into a heap on the floor.

"Oh, for goodness' sake," Tsunade growled, rolling her eyes as she reached down and plucked Kakashi up from the ground like a vegetable, dragging him to the side of Iruka's bed like a rag doll. "What did I say about over-exertion?"

But Kakashi didn't even seem to hear her, his hands already reaching toward Iruka, touching his face, his hair, the scar across his nose. "Are you okay?" the jounin asked, single blue eye frantic and worried. "Can you hear me, Iruka?"

"Yes, Kakashi, I can hear you," Iruka answered, awkwardly patting the top of Kakashi's head.

The jounin sighed, shoulders shaking. "I was so worried," Kakashi whispered, grabbing Iruka's right hand and kissing it through his mask.

Iruka smiled at that. "Good to see you too," he whispered, before turning to Tsunade, who had been watching the entire exchange with a scowl. "Ah, I guess this means I'm not dead?"

"No, you're not," the Hokage answered, crossing her arms and glaring. "And you're damn lucky, too. If you'd come back just a few minutes later, we wouldn't have been able to save you, and I expect a lot of sake and back-rubs for all the crap you've put me through."

"Ah," Iruka answered, somehow managing to look sheepish although he really wasn't all that sorry. "My apologies, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade shook her head, hazel eyes soft despite the fact that the frown hadn't left her face. "You're both such idiots," she muttered.

"I wholeheartedly agree," Iruka answered, and paused. "So…how long will my prison sentence be?"

Kakashi froze; Tsunade's frown darkened. Iruka sighed. "I've spent years teaching basic shinobi law to my students," he said. "I know the punishment for abandoning my village."

Tsunade sighed. "The council wants to give you the full sentence of ten years," she said, speaking slowly.

Kakashi stiffened. "They can't possibly—"

"_However,_" the Sannin continued, inspecting her brightly-painted nails, "I had a little…discussion with them, in which I informed them that if you were jailed, all the children—and half the parents—in Konoha would probably defect out of pure spite. And with our manpower already low enough as it is, the council saw my side of things and agreed with my decision. You'll be suspended from active duty for three weeks."

Kakashi and Iruka both waited, and when Tsunade made no move to continue, the chuunin finally blinked. "That's it?" he said, voice pure disbelief. "I desert the village, go rogue in search of someone believed to already be dead, and all I get is a three-week suspension?"

"Without pay," Tsunade emphasized, and Iruka suddenly wanted to laugh. "So I expect you to go home after you're released from here, Iruka, and preferably to take the Hatake brat with you. I don't want to see either of your faces for the next three weeks, do you understand?"

Kakashi blinked, then chuckled. "My, Tsunade-sama," he said, "You're as cruel as ever. Whatever will Iruka do without three weeks of pay?"

"I'm sure he'll suffer," Tsunade answered, the hint of a smile tugging at her lips. "In the meantime, you, brat, no more jutsu. You, idiot, get some rest. I'm through with dealing with you lot." And she spun and strode proudly from the room.

For a long moment, Kakashi and Iruka just stared at the now-empty doorway. Then, very slowly, the jounin turned to look at his lover, to really _look_ at him, and they stared into each other's eyes for at least a minute.

Then, suddenly, Iruka started to laugh. Kakashi joined in, burying his face in Iruka's shoulder as his entire body shook with mirth. And the situation really wasn't all _that_ funny but they laughed anyway, because if they didn't then they would probably cry, and that was just unacceptable. So they laughed and laughed and laughed, together in that small white hospital room, where it was just them and no one else.

They would deal with the rest of the world later.

* * *

**A/N: **And that's it, guys. Oh, and for people who didn't really get it...I sort of implied the fact that Kakashi trusted Iruka enough to let him sign a contract with his nin-dogs; that's why Iruka was able to summon and dispel them.

Thanks so much for reading!


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